


Saiou Oneshots

by sockwith6toes



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bugs & Insects, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Oma Kokichi Needs a Hug, Pre-Game Oma Kokichi, Pre-Game Saihara Shuichi, Saihara Shuichi Needs a Hug, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Trans Male Character, Trans Saihara Shuichi, oumasai, saiouma, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 13:35:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 29
Words: 32,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29369364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sockwith6toes/pseuds/sockwith6toes
Summary: Just some Oneshots for my comfort ship💕
Relationships: Oma Kokichi & Saihara Shuichi, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 23
Kudos: 40





	1. Blizzard

Shuichi turned on the news only to find a blizzard was right above their heads. He was freezing cold as it is, wearing a sweater under his hoodie and sweatpants with super fuzzy socks, cocooning himself in a blanket. He had already locked the doors and windows, shutting himself away in his bedroom. So now he sits comfy and warm in bed watching tv while drinking some hot cocoa.

There were loud knocks at his front door, which scared Shuichi senseless. Who would go to his house in the middle of a blizzard?! Then, it hit him. The only person he knew that was crazy enough to do that was his boyfriend Kokichi. Heck, if Shuichi told him to, Kokichi would jump to his death. Kokichi didn't really have a sense of self worth or selfishness at all, though he tries to hide that. Obviously he fails... as no matter what he would do anything for Shuichi. Shuichi quickly got out of his blanket burrito and hurried to the door. When he opened it, a ghastly yet.. not surprising.. sight befell him.

There stood Kokichi, shivering badly with snow covering him. His cheeks and tip of his nose were bright red and his eyes were shut tight. Though he wore a coat it didn't really help the cold.

"K-Koki! Damnit.. please tell me you didn't walk here..." Shuichi sighed, pulling Kokichi inside and shutting the door.

"N-No... I drove.." he giggled, opening his eyes.

Snowflakes lined his long eyelashes, slowly melting in the heat of the room. Shuichi smiled and took off Kokichi's coat, leaving it on the table. Kokichi was just in his pjs... absolutely silly. He had matching white pajamas with purple and pink polka dots.

"Koki... why'd you risk death to come here..?" He sighed.

"I knew I'd be snowed in for days maybe weeks and I don't wanna go that long without you..." Kokichi whimpered tiredly.

"Ugh.. Cmon, silly... let's go give you a warm bath.. you clearly deserve it..." he smiled shyly as he held Kokichi's frigid hand.

Shuichi brought Kokichi to the bathroom and stripped down, helping Kokichi since he was exhausted. He ran the water, making sure it was hot. Luckily the pipes haven't frozen over yet. Once it was full, steam rose from the water. Shuichi got in the tub with Kokichi and held him, planting soft and gentle kisses on the back of his neck sleepily. His lips lingered on his neck, Shuichi was growing exhausted as well. Kokichi moved so he was facing Shuichi, and kissed him sleepily, moving back down to his chest. Kokichi still shivered but he was getting warmer.

"Can we watch a movie together..?" Kokichi whispered softly.

"Of course..." he responded, lifting himself out of the tub.

Kokichi climbed out as well, immediately taking the chance to kiss down Shuichi's neck to his collarbone. Shuichi smiled and dried them both off, then got dressed. Kokichi did as well, though he took longer.

Shuichi led the other to his bedroom and crawled into bed with him, wrapping them both in a blanket. Kokichi's body still trembled even under the blanket. Shuichi pulled him close and put on one of their favorite movies.

"Shumai... I'm still cold..." Kokichi whimpered, kissing Shuichi's cheek gently.

"Awe... want some of my hot chocolate?" He smiled.

All Kokichi did was nod quietly, taking Shuichi's hot cocoa and sipping it. Shuichi moved his hand up from Kokichi's back to the back of his head, running his hand through Kokichi's damp hair. Kokichi giggled softly at one of the jokes in the movie, putting the now empty mug on the bedside table. He reached down and grabbed Shuichi's hand, interlocking their fingers. Shuichi's face became a noticeable pink, smiling at Kokichi. Shuichi leaned down and kissed the back of his head.

"Mm... Saihara-Chan is very affectionate tonight..." Kokichi whispered.

"You are too... you're very affectionate when you're tired..." Shuichi responded with a smile.

Kokichi only hummed softly in response, his body only shook a little. He ditched Shuichi's hand and crawled sluggishly into the other's hoodie, resting there.

"Didn't you want to watch the movie..?" Shuichi grinned, reaching up to pat his head.

"It's warmer here... plus I get to do this..." Kokichi kissed Shuichi's cheek all the way down to his collarbone, it wasn't sexual, it was soft.. gentle... full of want.

"You must be exhausted, Koki..." Shuichi murmured, basically whispering in his ear. "Please go to sleep..."

"Nooo... Shumaaiii..." Kokichi whined, already tiredly building fake tears in his eyes.

He leaned down and kissed his head, "Shh... I'll still be here when you wake up.. I'm not going anywhere..." he whispered in Kokichi's ear.

"B-But..." Kokichi sighed, "okay, Shumai..."

Shuichi laid back more, letting his lover lay on top of him. He hummed softly, his eyelids growing heavy. Shuichi's humming made Kokichi's eyes flutter shut. He knew Kokichi wasn't asleep yet, so he ran his hand through Kokichi's hair in a smooth, constant motion. He smirked as Kokichi's body fell limp against him. He was asleep.

"My angel..." Shuichi whispered, still combing his fingers through the other's hair.

Eventually with the quiet background noise of the movie and sleet tapping the roof, Shuichi succumbed to a deep sleep. Their breathing synced as they slept, snow still falling and piling up... trapping them with each other. But it wouldn't matter to them anyways, what they wanted was each other.. and the warmth they provided each other.


	2. Confrontation

It was a foggy Monday night, Shuichi was coming home from work. Usually he'd get a call from Kokichi to make sure he was okay, but to his surprise, his boyfriend didn't call. It made him slightly anxious but he didn't want to dwell on it. He still had an hour until he'd be home, so he called his small and clingy lover.

"Mmn.. hello..?" Kokichi spoke tiredly on the other line.

"Hey sweetheart.. I'm stuck in traffic so I'll be a while, 'kay? Just wanted to see how you were doing..." Shuichi muttered shyly.

"Oh.. Nishishi~ I'm.. I'm good, Shumai..." he almost whispered.

"Are you okay? You sound tired..."

"Mm.. such a worry wart... I'm just tired.. I'll be fine.."

"Well, don't keep yourself up longer than you have to, okay Kokichi?"

"Right.. I won't, lovely..."

The call ended and Shuichi placed his phone down. He furrowed his brow as he tightened his grip on the steering wheel, Kokichi was lying and Shuichi knew it. He was a little angry that he'd let it get this bad... he decided tonight would be the night he'd confront Kokichi about it. This thing.

Once Shuichi opened the door he heard the faint scurrying in the bedroom. Bingo... Shuichi glared and went straight there.

"Kokichi.. I'm coming in." He muttered.

"O-Okay..!"

He opened the bedroom door to find Kokichi laying in bed, his hands trembling as he held them over the keyboard of his laptop. He was wearing one of Shuichi's hoodies and his boxers, and there were empty coffee mugs everywhere.

"Darling..." Shuichi frowned sympathetically, noticing the dark bags under Kokichi's eyes.

"S-Shuichi I..."

Shuichi got in bed with him and shut his laptop, setting it aside. Kokichi gasped softly, about to protest, but Shuichi kissed him briefly.

"You're sick, Koki.. you have been for weeks... please stop staying up and overworking yourself..!" Shuichi begged quietly, cupping his face in his hands.

"B-But... the Future Foundation..." Kokichi whispered.

"They'll forgive you.." he kissed his nose. "You never sleep... please just sleep... you won't get better if you don't rest..." Shuichi embraced Kokichi.

Kokichi couldn't resist any longer, when he's sleepy he's very clingy and desperate for affection. So he leaned over and kissed Shuichi's neck gently, tugging at the collar of his shirt.

"Sweetheart.." Shuichi smiled, "h-hey... I need to change... while I'm up, do you need anything?"

"You..." Kokichi mumbled.

Shuichi patted his head and got out of bed. “Just a moment dear...”

He changed into some comfy pajamas and went to the kitchen. Meanwhile Kokichi whimpered and got out of bed to follow him. Kokichi hugged him from behind and buried his face in Shuichi's back, kissing it softly.

"Mm.. Kokichi.. Koki dough... go rest..."

"Mmnn no..." Kokichi mumbled sleepily.

"I'll be there in a minute!" Shuichi quickly grew annoyed with his stubbornness.

Kokichi immediately flinched and let go, waddling back to the bedroom in silence. Shuichi felt bad, he hated raising his voice at Kokichi... and clearly Kokichi hated it too. He finished making some tea, the perfect tea to make his Koki dough fall asleep. Shuichi smirked and went to the bedroom, crawling into bed and giving the tea to his lover.

"Here, drink this... you'll sleep easier." He smiled.

"No.. I don't want to sleep, Shumai.." Kokichi whimpered, pushing the tea away.

"... Koki dough..." Shuichi frowned.

Kokichi turned away from him and crossed his arms. “I won’t drink it.”

Shuichi sighed, he didn't understand why Kokichi was so stubborn. Then after some thought, he finally realized it. Kokichi got nightmares when he was sick... really really bad ones that made him cry.

Shuichi slipped his arms around his lover's waist, pulling him close, "it's okay, sweetheart... I'll be right here.. I know the nightmares are bad but I'll be here to protect you..." he kissed the back of his head.

"... Shumai..." Kokichi reluctantly drank the tea, slowly.

When he was finished, Shuichi put the cup away. When he came back, Kokichi was whimpering and reaching towards Shuichi. He smiled and got back into bed, holding his exhausted boyfriend. Kokichi continued to whimper softly, kissing down Shuichi's neck tiredly. Shuichi returned the affection by running his hand through Kokichi's hair in a steady motion.

"Mmn.. Shumai.." Kokichi spoke in a whisper, his eyelids growing heavy.

"Rest..." Shuichi laid down with him, holding his small boyfriend to his chest.

Soon, the two lovers drifted into a heavy sleep, clinging to each other.

Yet soon enough, their sleep was interrupted by Kokichi's screams. Shuichi awoke to find Kokichi having a panic attack, holding his knees to his face and covering his head. Tears rolled down the pale boy's face and he let out hasty whimpers between each breath.

"Kokichi..!" Shuichi grabbed his hand. Kokichi never got panic attacks.. only Shuichi did. So this was unusual. "Kokichi... breathe... just breathe, in and out, okay..? With me.."

Shuichi began taking deep breaths in, and exhaling, hoping Kokichi would follow. Kokichi watched him and slowly began to breathe in sync with Shuichi. He calmed down, letting his violently shaking legs rest against the bed, and holding Shuichi's hand.

"Are you okay now..?" Shuichi rubbed Kokichi's back in a constant pattern.

"Yes... thanks Shumai..." Kokichi leaned on him.  
"Do you want to talk about... you know?"

"No... I'm too tired."

Kokichi leaned into the other's chest and fell right back to sleep. Shuichi chuckled and laid down with him, brushing his hand through his lover's purple hair.

Everything was okay now.


	3. Scars

It'd been weeks and still the scars wouldn't stop hurting. Kokichi tried everything, pain meds, cream, everything. How he got those scars was unbeknownst to him. All he knew was that he obtained them after he'd lost the killing game. He lived alone in a house far from society. And today, Shuichi was going to visit him.

Kokichi stared at his body in the mirror, only wearing his boxers. He pouted and whimpered, staring at each scar. It hurt a lot, but not as much as his aching head and empty heart. Kokichi felt like the world was against him. While everyone else was recovering well, he was still suffering. And he had no clue why...

He slipped on a hoodie and sweatpants, putting on gloves so he didn't have to look at his scarred hands. Then, he covered every mirror and wore a mask. His clown mask. Kokichi sat in a chair in his dark dining room, resting his head on the table. The only light illuminating the room being a single ceiling lamp hanging over his head. What he wouldn't give for it to fall on top of him...

Suddenly the doorbell rang, making Kokichi jump in his seat. He put on his socks and ran to the door, opening it a crack. Shuichi was there, and once he saw the D.I.C.E. mask he let out a yelp in surprise.

"Kokichi! Why are you wearing that..?"

"No reason..." Kokichi opened the door to let Shuichi in.

Shuichi automatically became suspicious at the fact he couldn't see Kokichi's skin at all. Kokichi knew Shuichi didn't know what state he was in, and didn't want him to sympathize. He didn't want his Saihara-Chan to worry his little head about some ugly nobody like him...

"Hey.. can you take off the mask..? It's creeping me out..."

"No." Kokichi turned around and went to the kitchen.

"Um.. why..." Shuichi spoke coldly, already irritated.

"Because, I don't..." he got choked up, "want you to see me like this..."

Shuichi frowned and went up behind him, turning Kokichi around to face him. He placed a hand on the other's shoulder and smiled.

"Don't worry... I won't laugh or be disgusted... I just want to help." He seemed to notice Kokichi's quiet hiss in pain, "... a-are you hurt?" He let go.

Kokichi nodded, "a-a little... yeah..."

"Take off the mask... please." Shuichi gripped the mask by the edge.

Kokichi quickly tensed up and grabbed Shuichi's hand. He tried to push his hand away but, he ended up ripping his mask off of his face. Kokichi had deep, dark bags under his eyes and long red scars over his face. He stared at Shuichi, quickly beginning to cry as a rush of cold air jabbed at his sensitive skin.

"K-Kokichi..." Shuichi stared in disbelief, "you... you're..." he cupped his hands on Kokichi's scarred cheeks.

"I-I'm ugly..." Kokichi whimpered.

"No.. no no, Kokichi..." Shuichi wiped just tears away gently.

Shuichi sat Kokichi down on his bed and began removing his clothes except for his pants. Kokichi looked away from him, crying. He didn't want to look at his body. Shuichi stared in horror, the scars lined his entire body. He didn't need to remove his pants to know that.

"Does it.. hurt...?" Shuichi murmured.

"So much..."

Shuichi sat down next to him, pulling Kokichi into his lap. He held him and began kissing each scar on Kokichi's body. Kokichi blushed of course, feeling Shuichi's lips on his scars somehow.. made him feel better.

Finally Shuichi pulled away, "I love you no matter what you look like, Koki dough.. remember that..." he whispered.

"Shumai..." Kokichi murmured, then kissed Shuichi.

Shuichi absolutely worshipped each of his scars every time he would complain or whimper about them. Sure enough, after a month the stinging pain was gone. Though Shuichi said they were healing because of the medicine, Kokichi thought to himself every night...

Shumai kissed the pain away.


	4. Painless

Kokichi grabbed Shuichi's hands, smiling. Though under that smile was a million sobs.

"Shumai... please tell me you hate me..."

"I..."

Shuichi stared at Kokichi, baffled. There lay the dead body of Maki Harukawa. She was shot in the head, blood and brains all over Kokichi's body and dorm walls.

"W-Why..?!" Shuichi cried out.

"Shumai..." Kokichi frowned, "I did this because I want you to hate me. Why won't you turn your back on me..?"

"Why?! Why do you want this?!" Shuichi pulled his hands away and stepped back, his back against the door.

Kokichi giggled, picking up the bloody gun. It had one bullet left inside. He traced a finger over the gun, every detail. A crazed smile plastered on the leader's face.

"I want to be painless..." he whispered.

"What...?" Shuichi stammered.

"I love you so much!" Kokichi stretched his arms out, beginning to cry. "I want to stop loving you so bad... so tell me you hate me!"

"I-I..." Shuichi sobbed hard, he couldn't speak.

"Fine then..." Kokichi left his dorm, dragging Shuichi with him. He took the time to reload the pistol.

"W-Wait!! Kokichi!!" Shuichi tried to stop him. But.. he couldn't.

Kokichi stopped in the dining hall. Lifted his pistol. And shot Kaito in the head. Shuichi screamed and tried to get everyone to hide. But they were frozen like deers in headlights. Kokichi shot Himiko. Then Keebo. Then Tsumugi...

He turned to Shuichi, visible swirls in his teary eyes. "Do you hate me now...? I did this for you..."

Shuichi ran to the corpses of his friends, blood and brains filled the room. He cried out, trying to look for life in a room full of dread and a metallic scent. Kokichi knelt down beside him and hugged him, smiling.

"Tell me you hate me..." Kokichi whispered.

"I-I don't.. know..! K-Kokichi... why..." Shuichi whimpered.

Kokichi lifted the gun past Shuichi, holding it to his own head by his ear, "Shumai..."

"K-KOKICHI!!!" Shuichi grabbed the gun tightly, trying to pull it away.

A fight broke out between the two, wrestling over the gun. The gun clattered against the floor away from them, and Kokichi jumped over to it, trying to grab it. Shuichi pushed him away and grabbed the gun.

"I won't let you die!! You're all I have left..."Shuichi cried, "I love you, Kokichi!! What don't you get about that?!"

Kokichi stared in silence, "I want you to hate me, Shumai!" He cried.

"I would never hate you!! Please don't kill yourself!!"

"Love HURTS, Shuichi!! My heart aches! You shouldn't love me, Shuichi! I'm a monster... love is so... so cruel..." Kokichi sobbed, dropping to his knees.

Shuichi sobbed loudly, holding the gun up to his head. Kokichi looked up and screamed.

"SHUICHI NO!" Kokichi got up and grabbed the gun back.

"Kokichi! P-Please!! I love you and I can't lose you like I've lost everyone else!!" Shuichi cried.

"You deserve someone better..." he whispered.

Kokichi pointed the gun towards his head once again and whispered, "I hate you..." then pulled the trigger.

A blinding noise blasted. Blood splattered against the floor as Kokichi's body fell and hit the ground. His bloodshot and teary eyes still wide open and blood dripping from his open mouth. Shuichi stared in disbelief.

"..." he looked down, silent.

Shuichi shambled back to his dorm, opened the door, and collapsed on his bed. I want closure... he thought. He shut his eyes, begging to fall asleep.

And he woke up. He sat up gasping in bed, panicking as tears ran down his face. Shuichi looked over to see the sleeping Kokichi beside him, he smiled and laid back down, holding his boyfriend tightly like it was the end of the world.

"I will never hate you..." he stuttered through tears.

"Mm...?" Kokichi opened his eyes and looked at him. "Shumai... what's wrong..? Y-You're shaking..."

"Bad dream..." he mumbled.

Kokichi sat up, Shuichi still holding him. He turned on the lamp and grabbed a tissue, wiping Shuichi's tears away. He let Shuichi cuddle him, rubbing his back gently.

"Can you tell me what happened..?"

"No... can we just cuddle till morning?" Shuichi smiled.

"Sure... anything for my Shumai..." Kokichi kissed his nose.


	5. A Fresh Start

Today was the day Kokichi would be let out of the hospital, after months of treatment from the injuries he received inside the simulation that implanted on his real body. It was a painful process... but finally he could leave. He hated the hospital... the smell and the atmosphere made him anxious and sick.

He'd already signed the paperwork, and now he had to wait for his boyfriend Shuichi. He felt bad.. Shuichi would be stressed out by the hospital bill, so for the past two months of recovery (and dating his beloved), he'd been applying for jobs. Finally, he got a spot in the Future Foundation as an intern. Shuichi didn't know yet... and wanted to surprise him.

Finally, he heard a familiar voice, "Ah.. Koki...?" Standing there was the flustered detective, holding a bouquet of flowers and a heart shaped balloon.

"Are those for me?~" Kokichi snickered, sitting up.

"Mhm..." Shuichi sat by the hospital bed.

"Have you come to take me home and pamper me with cuddles and kissies?~"

"Ah.. yeah.." Shuichi smiled, still flustered.

"Aww you're sooooo cute when you get all flustered!" He giggled, rewarding his beloved with a kiss on the cheek.

Shuichi placed his lover in a wheelchair, (since Kokichi was still too weak and fragile to walk on his own, so he insists), and brought him to Shuichi's car. He helped Shuichi get in, and started the car.

"Sooo... how's it having a free house?"

"It's nice... it was incredibly thoughtful for the future foundation to give us our own houses..." Shuichi smiled as they drove out of the lot.

"Did ya get what I asked for?!"

"Yes, Koki... I got lots of fluffy soft blankets and pillows... perfect cuddling atmosphere."

"Yay!~ you're the best, Shumai!" Kokichi threw his arms around Shuichi's waist.

When they arrived, Kokichi was in awe. The house was two stories tall, hopefully no attic, so Kokichi could slide down the stairs like a cool kid! Of course, he doubted Shuichi would let him do that. But that's the thrill in doing it!

Shuichi helped Kokichi out of the car and carried him inside like a bride. Kokichi gave Shuichi gentle kisses on the cheek as he made his way to the bedroom upstairs. The bedroom was basic, besides the fluffy pillows and blankets on the bed. Kokichi beamed with excitement.

"Cuddle time, my beloved!!~" Kokichi jumped into the bed, letting out a whine.

"Ah! K-Koki!" He rushed to Kokichi's aid and held him, "take it easy... you're fragile..."

"Can you give me a kissy..?" Kokichi smiled.

"Of course, love..." Shuichi got in bed, giving Kokichi some gentle kisses.

Shuichi took off his shirt and pulled Kokichi close, spooning him. He was obviously tired from worry and the drive, silly Shuichi. Kokichi stared out the window, the sun beginning to set, he began to drift off to sleep.

Kokichi was awoken by a crushing feeling against his chest. He gasped softly, half asleep, he looked down and saw Shuichi was hugging him very very tightly. His arms were shaking, and he heard his beloved crying. Kokichi felt waves of pain melt through his ribs and the rest of his body.

"S.. Sh.. Shum.. ai...!?" Kokichi managed to utter, "y-y.. ou.. re... c-cru... sh... ing... me...."

Shuichi's grip loosened as he woke up gasping. He realized what he was doing and cried harder. Kokichi turned over and pouted, cupping Shuichi's face in his hands.

"Another nightmare, my love...?" He murmured soothingly.

Shuichi nodded, "I-I'm sorry..! I could've killed you..." he trembled.

"No.. no... it's okay... just breathe okay...? Focus on breathing."

Kokichi began taking deep breaths, ignoring the dull pain in his ribs. Shuichi followed his breathing, slowly beginning to calm down.

"I forgot to tell you... but I have a job with the future foundation now... I want to help pay the bills and um... help pay for your top surgery." Kokichi smiled.

Shuichi immediately hugged him, crying harder, "Kokichi! Y-You don't have to-!!"

"I want to, my love!" Kokichi giggled.

"You're the best boyfriend..." he wept.

"Nishishi~ I know I know..."

Kokichi slunk his arms around Shuichi and cuddled him, rubbing his back in circles to calm him down. Finally Kokichi had a.. semi-normal life again, a life full of cuddles and kisses from his beloved Shumai.


	6. Aftermath

It was around 1 or 2 am, it didn't matter to Shuichi. He couldn't sleep. It was the first night in the hospital after they escaped from the Ultimate Academy for Gifted Juveniles. It took a lot, but everyone else was alive too. He stared out the window at the stars, attempting to fall asleep again. Shuichi failed of course.

"Is everything okay in here?" A nurse asked.

Shuichi turned to look at her, "Ah.. yes, thank you..."

The nurse began fluffing Shuichi's pillows and tucking him in, checking files and whatnot, "having trouble sleeping?"

"Mhm..." Shuichi sighed.

"I can imagine... with everything that happened I'd be wide awake too."

The nurse soon left, leaving Shuichi alone with his thoughts again. There was a lingering thought in the back of his mind that he just couldn't shake... a worry, or fear. Everyone else was being checked on by each other. Everyone except Kokichi. Shuichi knew Kokichi was a pain, but even he deserved to be cared about in this horrible time.

He got out of bed, using his IV stand as a support, and shuffled through the halls to the specific room labeled "Ouma." They each got their own rooms since they'd be there for a while. Shuichi swallowed his pride and stepped inside, just as he thought, Kokichi was awake too. Kokichi was staring at the stars. Shuichi pulled up a chair and sat next to him, the sound immediately made him turn towards Shuichi. His eyes... they were pale, almost white, and cloudy.

He was blind.

"H... Hello?" Kokichi mumbled.

"Ah... it's me, Kokichi..."

"I-I... Shuichi..? S-Shuichi?!" He looked to be panicking.

"It's okay... hey.. I'm here..." Shuichi grabbed his hand, and inspected the boy's features.

He hadn't seen Kokichi at all since the game. To be frank he didn't want to. But looking at him, made his heart thud in his chest. Kokichi was smaller, skinnier, in fact he was malnourished. He had deep bags under his eyes, and a constant alert expression. His arms were bandaged tight, and he assumed his legs and body were too. Kokichi had a ring of bruises around his neck, deep... very deep bruises. His eyes lingered on the bruises.

"S-Shuichi?!" Kokichi whimpered.

"I'm still here..." Shuichi smiled weakly.

Shuichi placed his other hand on Kokichi's hand, the one he was holding. The poor boy was shaking... he looked up at the worried and paranoid purplenette. But under all that alertness and paranoia... was sadness.. loneliness to be more specific.

"Kokichi... I want you to be honest with me. What were your intentions...?" Shuichi frowned sternly.

"... m-my intentions..? So what, is this some kind of interrogation now?~" Kokichi stuttered.

"Drop the facade... I know you're sad.. you're lonely... just tell me what's wrong..."

Kokichi stared at him in silence, there was too much to say, or rather he didn't know how to say it. He didn't want to overwhelm the detective with his problems... as a leader he's supposed to tough it out on his own... right?

"I... I'm alone..." he managed to mutter.

"Huh...?"

"I'm alone... and I'm scared..." Kokichi stuttered, staring at their hands, "I knew a killing would happen... no matter what we did someone would have to die. So I gathered you all in hating me... so.. n-none of you would have to die.. just me... while I worked to find the mastermind."

"K-Kokichi!" Shuichi stared at him in awe.

"I.. love all of you... you're my classmates.. my..." he sighed, "it's stupid... I'm sorry... I just wish I could be loved the way everyone loves each other..."

Shuichi pulled Kokichi into a hug, "it's not stupid... I understand... okay? I understand..."

Kokichi reached up and found a good place to wrap his arms around Shuichi. He leaned into Shuichi's touch, as long as he could feel or hear his beloved... he knew he was there. Shuichi didn't even mention his awful looks, he only hummed softly in Kokichi's ear, hugging him the whole night.


	7. Recovery

Don't leave me. Those words echoed in the back of Shuichi's mind as he drove home that night. He cringed at the thought of what Kokichi would say to him when he got back... his lover was bedridden from the killing game and how it took a toll on his physical body. So now he had to lay in bed and do exercises until he got stronger. Shuichi had to help him of course, since it hurt too much for him to and he'd become exhausted afterwards. But the thing that tingled in his mind was the fact Kokichi didn't want to be alone ever again. He was terrified of the cold, and terrified of being alone, terrified of the dark, and most importantly.. he was claustrophobic.

Shuichi pulled into the driveway of their home and stepped out of his car. He swallowed his fear and began to unlock the front door. Once he opened the door a surprising sight beheld him.

Kokichi was sprawled out on the floor next to his feet, cuts and scrapes and bruises all over him. He dragged himself weakly to Shuichi, he was crying, and laid his cheek against Shuichi's foot, smiling a little.

"Koki..." Shuichi knelt down and rubbed the back of his lover's head.

"I missed you..."

"How long have you been here?"

"A few hours.."

Shuichi sighed, struck with worry. He picked up the small boy, growing more worried by his pained whimpers.

"You should've stayed in bed..." Shuichi mumbled, bringing him to the bathroom.

"But.. I missed you.. like, a lot... and when I miss you I don't tend to think straight..." Kokichi cuddled up to the taller boy.

"You never think straight, Kokichi. We're married."

He placed Kokichi in the bathtub and took off his clothes, blushing and looking away from him as he started the water.

"What? Don't like what you see?~" Kokichi giggled.

"I'm not saying I don't... I'm just saying when I look at you naked I get second hand embarrassment..."

Kokichi giggled more, "Tch, rude!"

Shuichi stopped the water and looked back at the smaller boy, carefully cleaning each cut and scrape. That's when he noticed Kokichi was shaking. Under that smug grin, he was anxious. Shuichi grabbed Kokichi's hand.

"Hey... I won't leave you, okay?" He smiled.

"Awww Shumai's such a charmer~"

Shuichi blushed and let go, "s-shut up..."

Shuichi lifted Kokichi out of the tub and dried him off, Kokichi insisted that he dry his hair too. Kokichi hates having wet hair. So Shuichi did as he was told, and soon Kokichi's hair was fluffy again. 

"There, is that better?"

"Yes! Thankies, Shumai!~ Noooww can we cuddle?"

Shuichi chuckled, "alright..."

He got Kokichi into his pajamas and carried him upstairs to his bed. Shuichi laid his lover gently in bed and laid next to him, holding him and caressing him. Kokichi leaned into his chest, exhausted from the panic and dragging his body downstairs to the front door.

"Shumai.."

"Yeah?" Shuichi looked down at him.

Kokichi looked into Shuichi's eyes, "don't leave me..."

He smiled a little and kissed Kokichi briefly, "I won't... I promise."

With Kokichi asleep, Shuichi could finally relax knowing he was safe. He played with Kokichi's hair and made sure he was in a comfortable position. Because when Kokichi sleeps in an awkward position, he gets incredibly sore the next day. Shuichi gave his husband one last loving kiss before drifting off to sleep.

The next day was a hassle, Kokichi was refusing to do his exercises. Shuichi sighed in defeat.

"I'll shower you with love and kisses if you do..."

"But it's gonna hurt!" Kokichi whined.

"You won't get better if you don't do them!"

"I like being bedridden and pampered by my Shumai anyways~"

Shuichi sighed, grabbing Kokichi's legs and making him do the exercises. Kokichi whined and squirmed, crying out in pain. Shuichi tried to ignore it as he went through each exercise with Kokichi. Once they were done, Shuichi brought him downstairs to the kitchen.

"That wasn't so bad, now was it?" Shuichi smiled.

"It hurt! You're evil, Shumai! Absolutely despicable!!" Kokichi burst out crying.

Shuichi sighed and gave Kokichi a cookie and some tea, "I have today off.. so I get to spend the day with you."

"Yay!!" Kokichi giggled, nibbling on the cookie.

The whole day was full of cuddles, Kokichi never let go of Shuichi. Something was obviously bothering Kokichi.. as he didn't talk much and he was stiff. Very stiff.. like a deer in headlights.

"Koki.." Shuichi whispered.

"Hmm?~"

"Are you okay..?" He moved away from Kokichi.

"Yup! Fit as a fiddle, Shumai~"

"Don't lie to me.."

"..."

"Are you okay..." Shuichi stared into his eyes.

Kokichi whimpered, "Dammit! No... I'm not okay..."

"Oh.. Koki..." Shuichi held him, "tell me what's wrong..."

"I'm cold. I'm so cold...." he trembled.

"Cold..?"

Now that Shuichi thought about it, it was cold. That's why he was stiff... he was cold... he was remembering the numbing coldness of the hydraulic press. Shuichi sighed and wrapped his little Koki in a blanket, basically trapping him. Then he got up off the couch.

"S-Shumai! Where are you going?!" Kokichi whimpered.

"Relax... I'm coming straight back, okay?" He went to the thermostat and turned it up.

He returned to the couch and cuddled Kokichi, feeding him little snacks and playing with his fluffy hair.


	8. Not Alone

Things had been oddly quiet that day. The reason being Kokichi hadn't been seen since the previous night after Gonta died and everyone spoke cruel words to him. Despite how many times Kokichi acted up, Shuichi still cared about him. So when he wasn't to be found... Shuichi grew worried.

He set off to the dormitory and stared at the door that would lead him to the leader's bedroom. Shuichi frowned and marched over to the door, giving a hasty knock.

No answer.

Shuichi looked around, nobody was watching him. He knocked again.

No answer.

"Kokichi...? Kokichi are you there...?" Shuichi murmured.

He could see the light was off in the room... but where else would Kokichi be? Shuichi took a pin from his pocket and steadied it inside of the lock.

"Kokichi if you don't open this door, I'm going to pick the lock and come in myself." Shuichi announced loud enough for him to hear.

No answer.

Shuichi let a bead of sweat trickle down his face as he focused on opening the lock. He fumbled with the pin, moving it up down and around, until he heard a click. He let a gasp slip from his lips and he opened the door.

What awaited him, he'll never unsee. He will never be able to take back or erase.

Shuichi screamed as he saw the limp body hanging from the ceiling. He ran over and lifted the small boy up, hoping, praying he still had even a sliver of life left in his body. Kokichi was surprisingly lighter than he had thought before... and he was warm. He was warm... he could be saved. At least, that's what Shuichi told himself.

Shuichi grabbed the knocked over chair next to Kokichi and climbed up on it. Adrenaline rushing through his veins, Shuichi threw the noose off of Kokichi's neck and jumped off the chair, holding him in his arms. He laid Kokichi on the floor and administered cpr onto the limp body. Finally, Shuichi heard a soft breath enter Kokichi's body.

"Kokichi!!" Shuichi grabbed and held him, though he was unconscious still.

He picked him up again and carried him hastily to his dorm, swinging the door open. He assumed Kokichi wouldn't want to spend time in his own dorm after that... and Shuichi was willing to help.

Hours pass, Shuichi goes out to hang out with Kaito and Maki, and comes back to check on Kokichi. Shuichi hadn't told the two about what he saw. The feelings were raw and he knew those two would only puncture the fresh wound. So he decided to care for the weak boy in secret.

Finally Kokichi stirred in his sleep, beginning to wake. He let out whimpers and his face grew red as he started to cry. Shuichi gasped and looked up at him, tears filling his eyes suddenly.

"Kokichi..." Shuichi whispered, placing a hand on the other's damp cheek.

He caught a glimpse of the terrible bruises on Kokichi's neck, and grimaced. Shuichi collected Kokichi in a hug, rubbing his back as he tiredly woke up. Kokichi began to panic of course.

"Shuichi! I.. I-I..."

"Shh... I'm here... okay? I'm here..."

Shuichi blushed, he normally wasn't the best at comforting. But Kokichi calmed down quickly, gripping Shuichi's clothes tightly as he sobbed.

"Shh... Shh.. you're not alone, Kokichi..." Shuichi whispered.

He seemed to underestimate Kokichi's reaction, for Kokichi looked up at Shuichi with glossy eyes, and blushed. He smiled weakly at Shuichi, not his usual cocky smile or his mischievous sneer. It was a gentle, soft smile...

"Save your strength, okay...? I'm going to get you some soup... what would you like to drink?" Shuichi asked.

"W-Warm milk is fine..." he replied.

Shuichi grinned slightly and patted Kokichi's head, leaving his dorm and walking to the dining hall. Kaito and Maki were there, chatting about things.

"Oi Shuichi! Hey! Wanna hang out with us?" Kaito snickered.

"Ah.. not today, Kaito... I'm quite busy." Shuichi smiled as he got soup and warm milk.

He made his way back to his bedroom to find Kokichi crying again. Kokichi tried to hide it, but in this state, it was easy for Shuichi to read right through him. Shuichi placed the soup and milk on the bedside table and sat on the edge of the bed to comfort Kokichi.

"Hey.. hey.. shh.. what's wrong...?"

"S-Saihara.. Chan..." Kokichi whimpered. "Why did he have to die...? Why.. did anyone have to die... I'm so overwhelmed by despair I c-can't take it..."

"..."

Shuichi stared at Kokichi, watching his shoulders rise and fall hastily within each hiccup and sob. Kokichi really was broken. He's sure Kokichi knew that there was no point in a facade. Either that or he just didn't have the mental strength to lie about his feelings like that. Either way, Kokichi was sad. He was sad and so was Shuichi.

"Kokichi..." Shuichi felt tears rise into his eyelids. "You're not alone, hear me? I'm here... Kaito's here... Himiko.. Tsumugi... Keebo... hell, even Maki's here... and so is everyone we've lost. I choose to believe they're here... with us still..."

"B-But.. I wanna say sorry to Gonta for killing him! And to Miu for being such a jerk to her!" Kokichi hiccuped.

"Kokichi!" Shuichi grabbed his shoulders, "I wish a lot of things! I would give anything to hear Kaede play piano... but she's gone now! And so's Gonta and Miu! But you can't just.. y-you can't just kill yourself and run away from it all! You're the ultimate supreme leader... Kokichi Ouma! You're so tough and smart... and cute and funny... you shouldn't have to live in fear like this!!"

Kokichi and Shuichi stared at each other for a while, Kokichi was shocked to hear something like that from Shuichi. Finally, Shuichi sighed and let go of Kokichi's shoulders.

"Don't ever do that again, okay...? I care about you..." Shuichi hugged him. "I'll take care of you for now... you clearly need it..."

"Mm.. okay..." Kokichi murmured, closing his eyes.

Shuichi gave Kokichi a swift kiss on the forehead before handing him the soup and warm milk. Kokichi ate slowly, blushing and glancing at Shuichi. Once he was finished, he was tired. Kokichi pulled Shuichi into bed with him and cuddled him, making Shuichi flustered. Very flustered. But Shuichi rolled over and held the smaller boy, running a hand through his silky hair. Kokichi really was strong... his fragile skin and petite figure, yet he was the leader of a nonspecific organization.

Shuichi hummed softly, admiring the little leader and his strength. Soon Kokichi was asleep, giving Shuichi ample time to shower him with love and kisses. Now that Kokichi was asleep, Shuichi didn't feel as flustered. Plus, it's something he's always wanted to do. Surely tomorrow will be a better day for Kokichi... now that Shuichi is there for him.


	9. Nobody Likes Me Everybody Hates Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m going to warn you now there are graphic depictions of insects and vomiting in this oneshot as well as bullying

"N-No!! Please.. please no!!" Kokichi cried out.

Kaito and Kaede held Kokichi by his arms as he cried out in fear as Gonta approached him. In Gonta's hands were worms and maggots... Kokichi was terrified of bugs. Shuichi stood on the sidelines watching like he always did, he secretly felt awful for Kokichi. This happened to him almost every day after school.

Kaede slapped Kokichi, "shut up Ouma-kun!! Gokuhara-kun... you're up."

"NO!!! PLEASE I'LL DO ANYTHING!!! I'LL DO YOUR HOMEWORK JUST PLEASE DON'T DO THIS!!!"

"Gonta has had enough of Ouma-kun's crying..." Gonta grumbled, edging closer.

Shuichi turned away as Kaito and Kaede pried Kokichi's mouth open. Gonta poured the two handfuls of insects into Kokichi's open mouth, he whimpered and cried as the wriggling bugs slipped down his throat with ease. He could practically feel them clinging to the inside of his throat, tickling it and trying to crawl out. The thought made Kokichi's face turn sickly pale.

"Get back.." Kaito snickered, pushing Kaede and Gonta back.

Kokichi lurched forward and vomited aggressively onto the grass, dropping to his knees. He couldn't stop throwing up. Each time he saw a wriggling worm in the vomit he just vomited again. The three laughed at him. And finally, Shuichi had enough.

"Guys quit it... leave him alone.." Shuichi snapped.

"Oh c'mon Saihara-kun! Lighten up.. we're just having fun..." Kaito chuckled.

"I said quit it!!" Shuichi shoved Kaito.

Kaito glared, "fine.. c'mon guys... let's bounce. The mood's ruined..."

Kaede, Gonta, and Kaito all left with their backpacks. Shuichi knelt down in front of Kokichi, beside his vomit, and rubbed his back.

"You okay now...?" Shuichi murmured.

"Y.. Ye— no... n-no I'm not okay..." Kokichi whimpered, gagging again.

Shuichi helped Kokichi up, "come on... come to my house.. I'll clean you up and take your mind off of those boneheads..." he smiled a little under his hat.

"O-Okay..."

Shuichi wrapped Kokichi's arm around his shoulder and helped him walk to Shuichi's house. Shuichi's house was pretty big but modest, three bedrooms, two bathrooms, an attic and a basement. Shuichi sat Kokichi down on the side of the tub.

"You take a shower.. okay? I'll have some clothes for you... and I'll get you something to drink. What would you like?"

"A-Ah.. water..." Kokichi blushed and looked away.

Shuichi gently shut the bathroom door and left to his room. He opened the closet and picked up one of his old t-shirts. He blushed, drool dripping down his chin as he imagined Kokichi in his clothing. He shook away the thought and cursed himself again and again for it as he got clothes and set them just outside the bathroom door.

"Ouma-Chan... I left the clothes outside the room for you..." he smiled.

"O-Okay! T-Thank you, Saihara-Kun..."

The taller male skipped happily to the kitchen, Kokichi was using his shower! Shuichi had a crush on the small boy since freshman year and had always dreamed of kissing the boy's pale face. He couldn't hold back dirty thoughts as he poured a glass of water for Kokichi. It was only until the cold water overflowed the cup and spilled on Shuichi that he broke from his trance.

"Ah! Crap... I'm such an airhead..." he mumbled, cleaning the mess with a towel.

He brought the water with him to his living room and waited for Kokichi to come back. Finally the boy sat next to Shuichi on the couch and drank the water thoughtfully and slowly.

"Do you feel better?" Shuichi asked.

"Yes... b-but you didn't have to do all this for me, Saihara-Kun... I.. I-I don't deserve it... wasting your time like this..." Kokichi closed his eyes sadly.

Shuichi grabbed his hands, "nonsense! You do deserve this, Ouma-Chan! You deserve the world! You deserve everyone to bow down to you and cry from your blinding beauty!"

Kokichi blushed and looked away, "s-stop it... that's a lie..."

"If it was a lie would I do this..."

Shuichi grabbed Kokichi's face and pulled him into a quick kiss. Kokichi gasped softly as his face flushed red, and he gripped the back of Shuichi's head and returned the kiss. Once they broke away the two were blushing and giggling.

"Y-You'd really kiss me after I had worms and maggots in my mouth...? That's gross..." he giggled.

"Oh I don't care.. you mean too much to me to think about gross bugs.." Shuichi held his face.

"You're such a flirt, Saihara-Kun..." Kokichi hugged him.

Shuichi leaned down and kissed him once again. He ran a hand through Kokichi's damp hair gently and slowly. Kokichi started laughing and broke away from the kiss.

"H-Hey.. what's so funny?" Shuichi chuckled.

"I-I dunno! This just feels too good to be true..."

"Well you're certainly not dreaming... I like you a lot, Ouma-Chan..."

"I like you too.. Shuichi..."


	10. Cozy

There was a blizzard. Snow piling up on every surface. That night the caretaker of the orphanage had had enough of Kokichi. She knew for a fact he would never be adopted, especially at age 16. So she gave him a couple of his belongings and shoved him out in the winter snow to make do.

It was stingingly cold out and all Kokichi was wearing was a sweater and jeans. Each snowflake felt like a bullet on his skin. Shuichi was the first name to come to mind, his house was about half a mile away from the orphanage. Luckily Kokichi had a driver's license, so he went to the caretaker’s car and... the doors were frozen shut.

"D-D-Damnit!" Kokichi kicked the car.

He just decided he'd walk to Shuichi's. It was his only option and he desperately wanted to be in his Shumai's arms. So he shakily lifted his foot and stabbed it into the snow, again, again, again, and again. Slowly, he was getting to Shuichi's house. His teeth chattered and his body quaked.

"S-Shumai... Shumai... h-h-help..."

Kokichi could feel his body giving out to the cold. He was about to give in, but saw Shuichi's house was up ahead through the blindingly white snow. Kokichi's skin was lined with frost, the tips of his ears, his nose, fingertips, and cheeks bright red. He wobbled and stumbled towards the house, triumphant. But, his body quickly gave out, knocking him into the snow.

"Shumai!!" Kokichi cried, quickly falling unconscious.

Meanwhile Shuichi was drinking tea in his house. He heard a thud outside, but didn't pay any mind to it. He picked up his phone and called his friend Kaede.

"C'mon.. pick up already..." Shuichi muttered, standing up.

He pulled back the curtain and looked outside at the blindingly white snow. He stared at a lump in the snow, it gave him an uneasy feeling. He narrowed his eyes and canceled the call. He looked closer.

"Hm... strange." Shuichi tilted his head.

Finally he saw it, three pale blue fingers poking out of the snow. He gasped and dropped his phone.

"O-OH MY GOD!!" Shuichi screamed.

He quickly grabbed his coat and shoved his arms through the sleeves. He got a blanket and a shovel and ran outside. Shuichi began shoveling the snow off of Kokichi. Once he saw Kokichi's dark hair he stopped and gasped.

"Kokichi!! Kokichi oh my god!"

Shuichi grabbed him and lifted Kokichi out of the snow, wrapping him in the blanket. He brought Kokichi inside and stared at his blue face. Frost lined his face and eyelashes. Shuichi moved some of Kokichi's snow covered hair from his face so he could look at him. Kokichi had frozen tears down his face.

"Kokichi..." Shuichi sighed. "We have to get your temperature back up..."

Shuichi brought Kokichi to the bathroom and set him down on the floor by the toilet and started the water. He made sure it was hot and let it run into the tub. He looked back at Kokichi.

"You're definitely gonna have the flu tomorrow.. so you better have a good reason for almost dying in my front yard..."

Once the tub was full, he turned back towards the unconscious Kokichi. He blushed, nervous. He knew what he had to do, but he didn't want to look like a filthy pervert.

"Gosh.. I'm so sorry, Kokichi..."

Shuichi took a while to psyche himself up before he removed Kokichi's clothes and put him in the water. He averted his eyes of course, as not to be rude. Shuichi made sure Kokichi stayed sitting up. Kokichi moved slightly, he was waking up. Shuichi began to panic, his face grew red as he imagined what Kokichi would say. There's no way he could explain himself out of this!

Kokichi opened his eyes slightly, "A-Ahn... Shumai...?"

"Gyaah!! K-Kokichi!!" Shuichi's voice cracked, "ah! U-Uhm... i-if you're wondering why you're naked I-I um...!!"

"Oh I see..~ Nishishi!~ Shuichi wanted to see me all naked and stuff cuz he's a pervy little boy isn't he~"

"K-Kokichi!!!"

"Then what's the real reason, mm?"

"I-I saw you in the snow.. you would've died if I hadn't found you... so I brought you inside and gave you a bath to bring your temperature up..."

Kokichi snickered, "sure sure that's what they all say, hm?"

"You know you don't need to wear that facade around me..." Shuichi sighed, "you know you can trust me..."

Kokichi stared at him, blush crept onto his icy blue cheeks. His pale, fair skin looked beautiful. Shuichi's face became bright red. Kokichi noticed he was staring and blushed more, looking away with a smile.

"The truth is.. I desperately wanted to be in your arms..." Kokichi giggled softly.

"Huh?" Shuichi looked at him in the eyes.

"The caretaker at the orphanage kicked me out... and you were the first person I thought of to go to..."

"K-Kokichi!" Shuichi grabbed his hands. "There's people that live closer to the orphanage!! Did you— did you walk here?! For me?!"

"A-Ahm... can you leave so I can get dressed..?"

"Oh! Um... a-ah.. I'll get you some clothes to wear!"

Shuichi got up and left the bathroom, running to his closet and getting a nice and soft hoodie and some sweatpants. He left them outside the bathroom and went to the kitchen, making soup and hot chocolate for Kokichi. He kept thinking about how beautiful Kokichi looked, but suppressed the thoughts.

"W-Why can't I stop thinking about him?" Shuichi murmured quietly.

He turned around and saw Kokichi standing there in front of him, wearing Shuichi's clothes. At this point, Shuichi's heart melted.

"A-Ahm... I made soup for you, and some hot chocolate. I know you love sweets.. so I put marshmallows in it..." Shuichi looked away.

"Ah thank you Shumai!" Kokichi grabbed the hot chocolate and started drinking it, then he sneezed, getting hot chocolate all over Shuichi.

"Gyaah!!" Shuichi stepped back.

"Oh gosh! Shumai I'm so sorry!" Kokichi stared.

Shuichi changed shirts and brought Kokichi to his room, making him lay down. He let him eat the soup. Kokichi was obviously sick, Shuichi frowned as he felt pity for the smaller male. He turned around to leave.

"Shumai where are you going?" He tilted his head.

"Ah.. I'm going to sleep on the couch... Y'know, leave you to rest..."

"Noooo Shumai! Come sleep with me!" Kokichi whined.

"Ah! U-Uhm... s-sleep with you—?" Shuichi's heart was racing.

"Yes come cuddle me!!" Kokichi reached out to him.

Shuichi was a flustered mess full of emotions that he could barely recognize. Not only was Kokichi asking for cuddles but his hoodie was too big, and Kokichi's shoulder was showing. Kokichi was so cute and beautiful, he couldn't help but lose all sense and swoon. Shuichi climbed into bed next to him, slowly pulling Kokichi close. Kokichi immediately latched onto him and cuddled him. Shuichi was basically dead at this point; don't worry, he's figuratively deceased.

"Shumai... is it too soon to say I love you?" Kokichi smiled at him.

"A-Ah! Err— K-Kokichi... I..."

"O-Oh.. so it was too soon..." Kokichi's face became red with embarrassment.

"N-No..." Shuichi sighed, "I-I... I.." he sighed again, nervously working up the courage. "I love you too..."

Kokichi squealed happily and cuddled Shuichi lovingly. Shuichi pet his head awkwardly, as he'd never had a boyfriend or a girlfriend before. So he didn't know what to do. But eventually the two fell asleep together.

The next morning, Shuichi took care of Kokichi since he had a bad fever. Now he was cuddling his new lover.

Kokichi looked up at him, "can I stay with you now? Since y'know... I've been kicked out."

"Of course! You can stay with me!" Shuichi smiled awkwardly.

Now they both had a home.. in each other's arms where they belong.


	11. His Purple Hair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is self harm descriptions in this chapter!! Please stay safe!!

Awakened from a heavy sleep, he lifted his head to find his lover wasn't beside him. He moved some dark blue hair away from his eyes and peered around the room, a warm light shone from under the bathroom door.

Shuichi always knew his little leader was broken beyond repair, from the game breaking and chipping away at his gentle heart. He pitied his lover, for he was lonely and without a single family member to console. After finding out that horrid experience was all fake, that his beloved organization never existed, Kokichi spiraled into a realm of weak sadness and a need to escape.

Kokichi wanted to escape his body, he felt disgusting for walking the world after everything that happened. Oftentimes he'd try to leave, whether it was a wire tied to his neck or a dip in the deep blue water where he couldn't swim. The leader felt the deepest despair and misery... and all his detective wanted to do was see him smile...

The detective lifted himself out of bed, listening to the quiet and hesitant sobs in the bathroom. He hoped to God Kokichi wasn't hurting himself. Shuichi moved some hair out of his face and slowly and heavily shuffled towards the bathroom door. Placing a gentle hand on the hard surface, he knocked twice.

"Kokichi... are you okay?" Shuichi mumbled.

There was no answer, so he automatically knew what Kokichi was doing. Shuichi moved his hand down to the doorknob, twisting it. He didn't have to use much force on the door, surprisingly. If Kokichi was trying to commit suicide he would've used something to block the door. He huffed out a gentle sigh of relief.

"Kokichi...huh?"

There stood Kokichi, wearing only a t-shirt and boxers as he always did, fresh red and stinging cuts lined his arms. The skin around each scar was irritated and red. The leader was sobbing, looking in the mirror as he held scissors up to his hair. He was cutting his own hair.

"Kokichi!" The detective stumbled forwards and gripped Kokichi's wrist.

The leader jumped in surprise, clearly panicking that Shuichi's seen him in this state. "S.. Shumai... I-I..."

Shuichi knew this crushing feeling well, the overwhelming feeling of despair. It shrouds you in darkness, squeezing you tight and caressing your brain with sharp claws. The feeling presses against you until you can't breathe, and whispers worthless everythings into your ear. Despair is quite possibly the worst emotion in the world.

"Koki.. w-why..? Why did you—"

"I just... can't stand to look at myself anymore... I-I... I want to look different... I want to escape... I don't want to live anymore!!" The little leader dropped the scissors on the floor, sobbing to himself as he stared at his own reflection.

Shuichi moved his hand down his wrist to intertwine his hand with Kokichi's hand. He gripped the smaller boy's hand tightly and pulled him into a warm hug. It wasn't the crushing feeling of despair, rather the soft.. gentle feeling.. of hope. Kokichi slipped his arms around Shuichi's hips and hid his face in the detective's chest. He found comfort in his lover's arms.

"It's going to be okay..." he whispered, "I know it's not okay now... but one day we will be okay..."

Such simple words brought peace to the leader's gentle, broken heart. They were like an angel's song, wrapping their gentle wings around him and rocking him into a deep slumber upon a fluffy cloud in a sky full of stars. Kokichi closed his eyes and accepted everything Shuichi said, blush creeping upon his porcelain skin.

The detective looked down at the fragments of Kokichi's dark and fluffy hair that was scattered upon the bathroom floor. He sighed gently, deciding that they would clean it up tomorrow. For now he had to cover those aching cuts, a painful requiem of Kokichi's past.

"Koki... let's just wrap you up..." Shuichi gave his lover a meek smile.

His lover gave a tired nod and sat down so Shuichi could put bandages on his wounds. The detective did it carefully and slowly, occasionally looking to see a slight change in Kokichi's face to see if the bandages were too tight. He noticed his empty expression and tied the bandages at the end so that they made two bows on his wrists. Kokichi's lips curled into a slight smile.

The simple gesture of happiness put Shuichi's mind at ease. His once tense hands relaxed and brought themselves to hold his lover's. Resting their foreheads against one another, Shuichi whispered sweet nothings to his little leader.

"Come on... back to bed..." he uttered softly.

Kokichi hummed as a response and followed his detective out of the bathroom, back to the safety of their bed.

The detective tucked them both in, the weighted blanket trapping them in a cocoon of comfortable heat. He moved his lover closer to him, running his hand through Kokichi's cut up, but still fluffy, purple hair. Whispering sweet dreams to Kokichi, Shuichi began to fall into a deep and much needed night's rest.


	12. Hellfire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ARSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He opened his pale eyes, still plagued by the haze of sleep. The detective moved his hand in the dark, finding a smaller hand under the blankets. A smile formed on his lips as he lifted the hand to them, planting a gentle kiss on his knuckles. Finally his eyes adjusted, now he could see his lover beside him.

Amid the darkness, he could make out Kokichi's long eyelashes and fluffy, tangled hair. His porcelain skin and tiny patches of freckles under his eyes. The way his lips always looked scarred from his bad habit of biting them. How small Kokichi's hands were compared to Shuichi's, and how skinny he was.

Since Shuichi had to work in an hour, he had to get up now or not go at all. He had a job that was very important, it was researching the remnants of despair so the future foundation could capture them and lock them up for the trouble they've caused.

He let out a hoarse sigh and crawled out of bed. The tall male shuffled over to the dresser, sorting through all the clothes. Most were his, as Kokichi didn't really wear his own clothes. He picked out some casual work clothes and shambled to the bathroom. Setting the clothes down, he started the water and made sure it was the right temperature. He liked hot showers in the morning that woke him up.

After slipping off his pajamas, he stepped in the shower. Shuichi hoped that the water running wouldn't wake up his lover. Kokichi had been very sick for the last two weeks, and needed to rest. Though... every time Kokichi fell asleep he'd sleep for longer and longer. Shuichi pushed his worry in the back of his mind as he washed himself. He heard a slight creak from their bed, knowing Kokichi didn't move in his sleep often, he must've woken him up.

"Awe..." Shuichi hummed.

He got out of the shower and dried himself off, careful around his hips since he was ticklish. He put on his clothes, then combed his hair. Shuichi frowned as a stubborn strand of hair would not cooperate. He let out a grunt and gave up, leaving the bathroom.

Kokichi was indeed awake, not in bed like he was supposed to be. Shuichi went to the kitchen to find his lover leaned against the counter eating vanilla yogurt. He sighed quietly, holding Kokichi by the waist so that he was up against Shuichi's body.

"You're not supposed to be up, darling..." he whispered, nuzzling the side of Kokichi's head.

"I got hungry..."

"I know baby.. I know... but please stay in bed and rest... if you need anything just tell me."

His lover only responded with a little hum as he was carried back to bed with his yogurt. Shuichi tucked the leader in, making sure he had his medicine, vitamins, and some warm milk to top it all off.

Shuichi kissed his head gently, "I'll be back..."

"W-Wait... Shuichi..." he muttered, gripping Shuichi's hand weakly.

"Hm..?"

"Don't go... please.. I have a bad feeling a-and I want you to be here with me.." he begged.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart but I really can't stay... I'll be home before you know it, Kokichi... then we can cuddle all night..."

"..."

"I promise I'll be okay..." Shuichi grinned reassuringly.

"Okay... I trust you Shumai..." he smiled weakly at his lover.

The work day was pretty slow, many times have remnants of despair been caught and locked away. But some were still roaming and causing terrorist damage across the city.

Shuichi rested his head on his desk, looking out at the smoky gray sky. Rain was setting in, but the sky looked... almost too gray. Like the world was preparing for something. Or maybe it was just another fire somewhere. The faint sirens in the distance confirmed it. Although there was an unsettling feeling in the pit of Shuichi's throat as he listened to the sirens.

"The remnants have attacked again!! They set fire to a house downtown!!" The chief of police shouted, putting on a coat.

Shuichi tensed up, "sir.. what's the address?"

What came next made his blood run cold. His house was ablaze. And Kokichi was most likely asleep there. He jumped out of his seat, tugging on his coat as he sprinted away, following the sirens.

Finally he froze before the burning building. The bright orange and yellow spread throughout the house, walls and roofs collapsing. He heard one fireman say there was someone inside. All the noise became a blur, and Shuichi felt sick to his stomach. The thought of Kokichi's burning body... skin melting off and his blood boiling in the heat... brought him to tears.

Shuichi pushed past the firemen and ran into the burning home. Ignoring shouts, he shoved open the front door and stepped over debris to find his sweetheart.

"Koki!! Koki where are you?!" Shuichi broke into a coughing fit, feeling dizzy as his lungs filled with smoke and his throat strained.

Without an answer, he roamed the house and what was left of it. He was coated with a layer of sweat, the fire edging closer and closer as he dragged his feet further. The detective finally made it to the bedroom, letting a gasp slip through his lips at what he saw in front of him.

Kokichi was trapped under debris, laying in a puddle of his own blood. He coughed and wheezed, weeping. The leader was surrounded by flames, creeping closer to touching his skin.

"KOKICHI!" Shuichi screamed, jumping into the fire.

The overwhelming heat and pain stung his skin and burned his clothes as he shoved the flaming debris off of his beloved. Kokichi's terrified eyes were fixated on Shuichi, he was sweating as much as he was.

"S.. Shu... mai..." Kokichi whispered hoarsely, going into a coughing fit.

"Don't worry!!" Shuichi coughed, "we're gonna be okay!"

Kokichi then lost consciousness, laying his head limply on the floor. The detective finally got most of the debris off of him, but Kokichi's legs were trapped under something Shuichi couldn't move. He tucked his arms under Kokichi's and pulled, breathing heavily into his ear. If Kokichi were awake he would've hated it.

"Don't worry, Koki... I've got you... I've got you..." Shuichi panted.

His strength depleted almost completely, leaving him exhausted holding his lover. Shuichi finally gave one last try, pulling as hard as his body could muster. The fire was getting closer to them, so Shuichi moved away from it so that when he was free, they wouldn't land in the fire.

With one last tug, Shuichi was sent flying into the wall with Kokichi in his arms. But when Shuichi felt something warm and wet against his legs, he began to panic even more.

He looked over, and screamed. Kokichi's legs were gone. Blood gushed out of the wounds, pouring on his legs. The scream lingered until Shuichi burst into a coughing fit and took off his shirt and coat. He tied it around what was left of Kokichi's legs and shakily got to his feet.

"It's okay, Kokichi...!" He coughed.

Shuichi found that he couldn't breathe, dizzily trying to get back outside with his lover. His vision became blurry as his body went numb from heat. Debris had covered the front door, so he grunted and moved to the window. The detective braced himself before slamming his elbow through the window and jumping through. As soon as he hit the cool grass he fell unconscious, his little leader in his arms.

After a couple days, Shuichi was coaxed out of his deep sleep by the smell of fresh lavender and the steady beating of his heart. He kept his eyes closed, afraid if his beloved did not survive the fire. Until finally a soft hum confirmed his thoughts.

His eyes shot open and he looked beside him. His beloved... sleeping peacefully in another bed beside him. He was riddled with bandages and a blanket tucked under his arms in which were holding his pillow under his head. Shuichi sighed gently and looked down at himself.

He was also riddled with bandages, his skin a bit tanned now because of the fire. He was wearing a hospital gown, though it was big on him. Shuichi moved his hair away from his eyes and looked back at his love.

A nurse stepped into the room, quite taken aback by the fact Shuichi was awake. She was tall, and had long blonde hair. She had wide, oval shaped hazel eyes and pale skin. She wore a name tag that read "Kasumi"

"Ah! You're awake..." Kasumi smiled.

"Hm.. yeah, w.. what happened?" Shuichi whispered, as his throat hurt.

"Well I'm afraid I don't know exactly what happened... but... you saved this boy's life, although his legs were severely damaged."

"Ah!! T-That's right... I-I saved him..."

"Are you two close?"

"Yes... we're dating..."

"Hm.. would you like me to move him into your bed...? Hopefully I won't get in trouble for it..." Kasumi giggled sweetly.

"Please.. if it's not too much." Shuichi whispered.

The nurse moved some things around and lifted Kokichi out of bed. Once the blanket slipped off of Kokichi's body, Shuichi froze. The leader's legs cut off in the middle of his thighs, bandaged tightly. Tears streamed down Shuichi's face as the nurse rested his broken lover in his lap. The nurse left, leaving Shuichi alone.

"Oh.. oh Koki..." he wept, "I'm so sorry.. this is all my fault..."

Shuichi reached over and felt the stubs where his legs used to be. Crying, he moved his hands to hold his waist. He buried his face in Kokichi's chest, one hand on his back and the other on the back of Kokichi's head.

"I'm so sorry... I'm so so sorry...!"

Kokichi moved a little, waking up. He lifted his head and opened his gentle, loving eyes at Shuichi. Once he saw the tears in his beloved's eyes, his gaze became softer and he wrapped his arms around Shuichi. He stopped and looked down, realizing his legs were gone.

Kokichi panicked a little, "Shumai where are my legs..?!" He whimpered.

Shuichi held the leader's face, "you were trapped under so much debris... when I pulled you out I—" he burst into tears.

"Shumai... Shumai..." Kokichi whispered, drying his tears. "It's okay.. you saved my life, Shumai... you saved me...!" He smiled.

Shuichi gave Kokichi a long, passionate kiss. One full of want and love. His lover accepted it without hesitation, leaning close to him. He combed his fingers through his hair gently, comforting Shuichi. Comfort was all he could do for him, as his Shumai kept apologizing profusely over and over again for ripping off his beloved's legs.


	13. Fragmented and Broken

Raindrops fell and fluttered down from the sky, the dark grey clouds blocking the moon from view. The beautiful shiny moon was gone, that wasn't the only thing Shuichi loved that was gone. He was in the car, thoughts of suicide racing through his mind faster than the car. He pushed them away, trying to think of something else.

Amongst the darkness of the detective's twisted mind, he found a bright light. The light brought from his beloved's childish smile. It was one of the only things he remembered. The sound of the ambulance driving Shuichi down the highway and the rain hitting its slick white steel brought him into a calm state of mind. The piercing pain in his skull numbed into a dull ache. Relaxing his shattered arms on the sides of the stretcher as oxygen was pushed into his lungs through a mask.

Thus he closed his eyes, remembering the one he called his beloved. When they first met. It was a foggy memory, after all, his memories were fragmented and blown away over time. It was unusual for someone his age... him being 20 turning 21 in a week.

The memory started with his laughter. Upon entering the room without color, or significance. The walls were plain, after all, he'd forgotten what it looked like. It didn't matter. Wasn't he chasing someone around..? Yeah, he was. But Shuichi forgot who or what he was chasing. There he saw him, his beloved.

His beloved's skin was bleak and pale, his hair dark and fluffy. Wearing that scarf.. or bandana.. that he held so dearly for reasons Shuichi couldn't remember. His beloved's face, he couldn't quite grasp. It was just a grey cloud masking his smile and the look in his eyes.

Shuichi huffed in frustration, he wanted to see his face so desperately. Hear his name, his name... what... was his beloved's name? Surely it wasn't beloved. That wouldn't be a good name for someone. He felt tears line his bottom eyelashes and under his eyes. Tears ran sideways, at first he didn't know why. Then he remembered he was laying down.

"H... Hey..." he whispered internally.

His beloved turned towards him, "Saihara-Chan!~"

"Sai... hara-Chan...?" Shuichi questioned, "who's.. who's that?"

"You, silly! Man you don't even recognize your own name? Pretty klutzy for a detective to forget his own name... tch..."

"Detective..." Shuichi repeated.

"Ah.. Saihara-Chan?"

"Yes?" He looked back up at his beloved's blank face.

"You need to take your medicine."

"..."

His medicine... he'd completely forgotten. Shuichi opened his eyes, retreating from his mind to find he was being rushed to the ER. He'd completely tuned out the sirens, his headache returned as a migraine, causing the tears to come faster. This was the most pain he's ever been in, but... did it matter to him? Not in the slightest. After that traumatizing experience, all he could think about was how they died. The faceless characters he sent to their deaths.

Where were they taking him? Soon his question was answered when they lifted him onto a table from the stretcher, images blurring and voices muffled. A blinding light pierced his delicate eyes. Surgery. Another mask was placed over his parted lips, suddenly Shuichi felt dreadfully drowsy. In an instant, his muscles relaxed and he fell into a deep yet unwelcome sleep.

He woke up what felt like a couple seconds later but was actually three days. The light of dawn peeked onto his pale skin, tickling his face with a warm sensation and coaxing his eyes awake. Shuichi squinted and attempted to lift his hand over his eyes, however his body was weak and he couldn't will his hand to move.

What he wouldn't give to be in a medically induced coma until the sun burned out.

The sound of moving fabric and a body stirring in their sleep rang in his ears, just loud enough for him to hear through the beeping of his heartbeat on a monitor. Shuichi took in a sharp breath and slowly turned his head to the right.

Dark purplish fluffy hair, something Shuichi would love to run his hands through. A small, petite and feminine build, so he assumed they were female. A delicate face and beautiful eyelashes, wearing a hospital gown. Her exposed arms were bandaged and her left eye was bandaged. Something about her was familiar to him, although he couldn't quite place it.

"H.. Hey... are you awake.. sleepyhead?" He didn't know why he added that, but he felt it was right to say in the situation.

"Ah..." that voice definitely didn't belong to a woman. He opened his gentle purple eyes, "I-I am..."

Now Shuichi felt bad for assuming his gender. His cheeks flushed pink as he avoided eye contact with the stranger. Although, the stranger in the bed beside him wouldn't stop staring.

"Do I.. know you?" He muttered delicately.

"I don't know... to be honest I don't know much anymore.. I can't even remember why I'm here... or why my body is all busted..." Shuichi responded coldly.

"Well.. now I can't ask you all those questions like.. who you are, and where we are..." he looked away and let out a giggle that made Shuichi's heart skip a beat. "Can't even ask you what happened to you either... lucky you... I can't seem to forget what happened to me..."

"W.. What happened to you?" The detective became curious.

"Attempted suicide..." the stranger lifted up his hospital gown to reveal bloody bandages on his chest and stomach, "couldn't take living after.. after that..." he shivered and turned away.

"Ah.. I-I think I did too..." Shuichi muttered, "I don't remember much though... other than things that are important like English and how to breathe..." he chuckled.

The stranger giggled, "you're fun... I'm glad we can recover together..."

"Ah uh.. yeah.. why'd you ask if you knew me?"

"Because you look like a handsome detective I met a while back..." he purred.

"H-Handsome detective?" Shuichi's cheeks turned cherry red.

"Yeah.. his name was Shuichi Saihara... he saved my life..."

"I-I.. I am Shuichi Saihara."

The two stared into each other's eyes for a long time, both stunned. Tuning out all noise, all they could hear was the other's heartbeat.

Finally, Shuichi's memories built back up in his head. His beloved, his face, it all came back to him. This beautiful stranger was his beloved... fate brought him back to his love. That dark fluffy hair, the urge to run his hands through it, it only got stronger. The detective wanted to steal his beloved's rosy lips in a tender and gentle kiss. He wanted to cherish every part of his body and tell him just how much he adores him. He wanted to worship every scar on his beloved's body... his... Ouma. Kokichi Ouma. He'd finally remembered his name... Kokichi Ouma...

"K.. Kokichi..." Shuichi whispered, tears in his eyes.

"... S-Shumai I.. I missed you so much!" He uttered, "when I woke up I feared I'd never see you again I..."

The detective used all the strength he could muster to throw his hand over and hold Kokichi's. He leaned as far off the bed as he could, loving the sweet scent of lavender that lingered in his beloved's hair. His desperation to lay sweet and loving kisses on Kokichi's neck was unbearable to ignore.

After all, it'd been 5 years since they saw each other.

Kokichi got the memo and leaned closer as well, to be honest Shuichi smelled terrible. Like a rotting corpse. But he decided not to mention it, all that mattered to him was seeing his beloved Shumai again.

He laced his short and skinny fingers through Shuichi's dark blue hair, finding his way under the bandages blocking his silky locks. He stopped, as he felt a scar on the side of his head, it was big and already scabbed. Shuichi hissed quietly in pain and held Kokichi's wrist.

"Did you jump.. off a building...?" The little leader whimpered lowly.

"I-I couldn't tell you.. I don't remember, Kokichi..."

"Mm.. Shumai.."

He leaned towards Shuichi, their parted lips almost touching. The detective could feel his other's soft and gentle breaths.

"I'm here, I'll never leave... never again.." Shuichi didn't know why, but felt the need to say that.

"S-Shumai..." Kokichi whispered, tears in his eyes. "You don't know how much that means to me..." he smiled.

"You're right..." Shuichi chuckled weakly, "I don't know..."

The leader giggled gently, "I've always loved you..."

Those words hit him like the pavement, making him a flustered mess. Kokichi always knew the best ways to tease Shuichi, but this was his best so far. At least from what Shuichi remembers...

"I.. love you too..." he uttered after much thought.

The detective lifted a weak and shaky hand and strung his fingers through his beloved's fluffy hair, using the other to pull him into a much deserved kiss. It was like heaven, the warmth of the other's lips sent the two into a flurry of flustered emotions.

Kokichi squeezed Shuichi's hand as he tilted his head into the kiss for easier access. He had forgotten how much he craved Shuichi's touch. Basically melting under his hand, the little leader moved his leg off of the hospital bed.

Although, Shuichi noticed and broke away from the kiss, angling down at his leg. He placed a hand on Kokichi's thigh and pushed his leg back under the covers.

"I know you're desperate.. I am too... after all it's been years, but... you still need to rest..." he mumbled.

"Ah.. Nishishi..~ classic Saihara... you always worry..." Kokichi snickered gently.

"I've worried a lot more since the last time we saw each other..." Shuichi curled a strand of his beloved's hair around his index finger.

"I never wanna leave your side, Shumai..." he whispered, his lips once again lingering over Shuichi's.

"Me either... I love you so much... you don't even know, Kokichi..." the detective responded.

He smiled gingerly and gave his beloved another long, gentle kiss. This one was better, both their hearts skipping beats and filling their stomachs with butterflies. Their cheeks flushing cherry red, eyes closed and imagining their wedding day. Something something, cherry blossom petals.

Once their lips parted, an unending sense of tiredness tugged Shuichi's eyes shut again, relaxing his muscles and sending a line of drool down his chin.

"Ah... Shumai.. are you tired..?" He yawned.

"Yes... so tired..." Shuichi removed his hand from Kokichi's hair.

"Sleep.. I promise I'll be here..." Kokichi whispered, laying Shuichi down.

His sleep once again lasted a second, he couldn't remember when he fell asleep. But when he awoke, he felt the warmth of someone clinging to him under the covers. The detective coaxed his eyes open and glanced over beside him. Beside him was his beloved... Kokichi Ouma. He trembled only slightly, his eyes open and staring at Shuichi's arm.

It's only then that Shuichi realized their hospital beds were pushed together. The small table that separated them was moved to the corner, a vase of flowers resting on it.

He moved his hand, earning a flinch from Kokichi. He carried on with his movements to slide his fingers into the leader's dark and fluffy hair. He closed his eyes, leaning into Shuichi's hand.

"You're shaking, beloved..." Shuichi whispered.

"I know... I was scared you wouldn't wake up again.."

"Oh... dearest..." the detective kissed the top of his other's head.

"I-I know... it's a stupid fear... ever since that game I've been so timid and cowardly..."

"You're not a coward, love..." Shuichi muttered with a frown.

"I-I... well.. y-you're always right, Shumai.. I trust you..." Kokichi uttered, moving his hand up to Shuichi's chest.

The detective curled his fingers around his beloved's hand, holding it gently and massaging his knuckles. Kokichi smiled, feeling Shuichi's heartbeat against his cheek.

It's all he needed. Shuichi's gentle heartbeat... like the steady beating of a drum. Fingers intertwined, the detective hummed a soft lullaby to Kokichi, the moon finally visible after all this time.


	14. Love Me, Dear

Home from work, he gazed upon his home. A sturdy two story house coated with a baby blue paint job. The window frames were white, all but one of them lit up from the inside. Since it was almost midnight it was easy for Shuichi to tell his beloved was awake. His expression became stern, Kokichi was supposed to be sleeping.

"Kichi..." he uttered.

He lifted himself out of his car and shut the door, trudging his heavy feet to the front door. The detective slid the key into the lock, twisting it. The door was pushed open, giving Shuichi the chance to peek inside.

Kokichi was sitting on the couch, curled up in a blanket staring at the tv that was playing the show he always enjoyed. His pale eyes drifted across the screen, just two empty pools of lavender with no sign of life or consciousness. He was wearing the same white t-shirt and boxers he always did. The empty shell of a little leader's hair was tangled and greasy. His skin pale and colorless except for the light scars lining his arms.

The detective stepped inside, shutting the door. Letting out a gentle sigh, he turned back towards Kokichi who was fixated on the tv. He approached the former leader, standing right in between Kokichi and the screen. He didn't flinch, as if Shuichi wasn't there at all.

"Kichi..." Shuichi murmured.

"A-Ah...?"

Kokichi's trance was broken, his empty and cloudy eyes moving up to face Shuichi. His lips parted, his hand lifting up and reaching towards the voice. The detective matched his movements, their fingers now interlocked.

"I'm here now..." Shuichi whispered to him.

"Okay..."

"You need a bath, my love..." he touched Kokichi's hair lightly.

"C-Can you help me..?" He angled his eyes towards Shuichi's mouth.

"Of course.. but.. can't you bathe yourself..?"

"I just wanna hear your voice..."

The detective rolled his eyes, knowing Kokichi wouldn't notice. He didn't notice any physical gestures, really. Since the former leader was blinded, he really depended on the sound of his beloved's voice. Shuichi's lover was plagued with memories of his past, and the crippling pain from a facade he created so long ago.

He lifted his lover up, carrying his arm over his shoulder. Shuichi walked with him to the bathroom, although Kokichi's feet barely touched the ground. He set the former leader on the toilet for him to wait as he started the water, making sure it was warm.

"Take your clothes off, love..."

"Ah.. okay..."

Once he was undressed, the detective picked him up and rested him in the tub that was full of warm water. Shuichi picked up a bottle of shampoo and squeezed some into his hand. Rubbing them together, he ran his fingers through Kokichi's hair, making sure it all got cleaned.

"Shumai..." he whispered.

"Yes love?"

"H.. How was work..."

Shuichi knew what his love was doing. He was trying to see if he was still with him. Because of his trust issues, touch just wasn't enough for him. He wanted to hear the smooth, gentle voice that calmed him and brought peace to his heart. The voice that only belonged to Shuichi.

"It was the same as always.. dumb coworkers, dumb customers, even dumber boss."

"Really...? Man.. I can't imagine being in your shoes..."

"I know you can't, you can't even see, darling..." Shuichi whispered solemnly, running his hands through his hair still.

"I-I know... I wish I could still see your golden eyes and blue hair..." the purplenette closed his eyes, relaxing in the warm water.

"I'm sorry..." the detective leaned down and kissed the smaller boy's cheek. "Bleh... I got shampoo in my mouth..."

"Be careful, Sushi roll.."

Shuichi sighed gently, dumping water on his lover's head to rinse out the shampoo. He began to think, to remember how much he loved the old Kokichi. The Kokichi that'd play pranks and smile and giggle like a little child. The Kokichi that ate his food like a little mouse, always nibbled it, trying to savor it. The Kokichi that would always be shy when he was flustered, fidgeting with his scarf or twirling his hair around his finger. The one that'd tease Shuichi, always acted all tough on the outside but was secretly a delicate flower underneath. Now, all Kokichi is is a shell. An empty shell of what he used to be.

"Shuichi...?! S.. Shuichi..?" The former leader panicked.

"Ah... s-sorry beloved... I-I was just thinking." The bluenette caressed every strand of Kokichi's beautiful silky hair.

"It's okay... y-you were just so quiet I... I got scared.." he relaxed once again in the water.

"You don't need to be scared, Koki... I'll never leave you alone..."

The detective got some soap on Kokichi's body and rubbed it into his delicate skin. The soap already started to seep into the water. Shuichi ran his hands up and down his lover's arms, getting soap all over, even holding his fingers and gently scrubbing the soap into his palms. He frowned sternly every time he glanced at the scars on Kokichi's arms. Distant painful memories, though he was thankful he hasn't cut in a long time.

"Lift your leg, sweetie." The bluenette cooed.

Kokichi did as he was told, so Shuichi could rub soap across his pale legs. He shivered slightly, the water was getting cold. The detective finished with the soap, dipping his love's body into the water. He then scrubbed some conditioner into the purplenette's hair, once again caressing each stray strand of hair. His lover hummed softly, his tired eyes drifting shut for a moment.

Once the conditioner was out, and Kokichi was clean, the detective picked up his soaking wet lover and held him close in his arms. Shuichi grabbed a towel and wrapped him up in it, going to sit on the toilet with his lover in his lap.

"I'm going to dry your hair now, love... okay?"

"Thank you, Shuichi..."

"Anything for you, my sweet..." he kissed his cheek.

Shuichi plugged in the hairdryer and began blow drying the broken leader's wet hair. Kokichi shivered in the towel as the cool air from the air conditioner hit his pale skin that wasn't bundled up tight in the towel.

"Shuichi..." he stuttered.

"Yes love?"

"Sing that song that I like... please..."

"Really..? B-But you know I'm not that good at singing..." he whispered, turning off the hairdryer.

"Please...?"

The bluenette sighed, running his wary hands through Kokichi's now dry and fluffier hair. He hadn't sung in so long, he was worried he'd disappoint his beloved Kokichi. But if he didn't, the silence would just draw out and his beloved would go into a state of panic. So he took a deep breath, and sang.

"You are my sunshine.. my only sunshine.." he began, drying off his lover. "You make me happy... when skies are grey. You'll never know, dear... how much I love you..." he smiled, holding Kokichi in a warm embrace, "please don't take my sunshine away...." he hummed.

".. hmmm..." Kokichi leaned against him.

"The other night, dear... as I lay sleeping... I dreamt I held you.. in my arms..." he cooed, rocking Kokichi gently, "and now that you're here, my dreams are waking... and I will keep.. you from.. all harm." Shuichi whispered melodically.

"... mm.. mmm..." Kokichi opened his eyes and smiled at Shuichi.

Shuichi stood up, carrying Kokichi to their bedroom, "you are my sunshine... my only sunshine... you make me happy, when skies are grey." He hummed, taking the towel off of Kokichi as he sat him down on the bed. "You'll never know, dear... how much I love you..." he picked out some clothes from the closet. "But please don't take.. my sunshine away..."

He hummed the tune sweetly as he slipped some comfortable clothes onto Kokichi's body. The clothes were too big, making the empty leader look small and helpless.. which in a way, he was.

"I'll always love you.." he sang, "and make you happy..." Shuichi tilted Kokichi's head up and applied medical eye drops to the purplenette's eyes. "I'll pick you when... you've fallen down..." he whispered. "You turn the sky blue.. when it is raining..." the detective planted a kiss on Kokichi's forehead as he laid him down. "You'll always keep.. the sunshine around..." he sang softly.

Shuichi took off his shirt and pants, changing into something comfortable. All the while he hummed the sweet lullaby to his love, surprised he wasn't asleep by now. When he finished getting changed, he crawled under the covers and held Kokichi to his chest, running his gentle hands through his fluffy purple hair.

"You are my sunshine.. my only sunshine..." he sang, "you make me happy... when skies are grey... you'll never know, dear.. how much I love you..." he whispered in his ear, "please don't take.. my sunshine away..."

In the silence as the song ended, Shuichi looked down at his lover. He was awake still. The bluenette sighed. He stared into his other's clouded lifeless eyes.

"Thank you, Shumai..." Kokichi whispered.

"You're welcome but... you really need to sleep..." he frowned.

"But... what if I have another nightmare...?" He whimpered fearfully.

"I'll be right here... okay...?" Shuichi braided a few strands of Kokichi's hair. "I'll never leave."

"I just want to see your face again..." Kokichi buried his face in his chest, clinging to the fabric of Shuichi's shirt. "I miss you..."

"Oh love... one day you'll see my face again... but for now we just need to wait and hope for the best that your eyes will heal..."

"O.. Okay..."

Shuichi hummed the tune of the lullaby again, holding his love close to his body. Running his fingers through his hair, Shuichi began to fall asleep. By now the purplenette in his arms was already asleep. The quiet made him drift... into a world Shuichi won't remember the next morning.


	15. Desperate For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love winter okay

Perhaps it was the awkward position he was in, or maybe it was the fact his socks were inside out. But Shuichi had an off feeling about that day. Snow was falling harder than what was believable, you couldn't even see your hand through the bright blizzard. He wrapped the blanket tighter around his body. The signal for the tv had cut out so he was stuck watching movies and dvds.

The bluenette kept glancing over at the window, and he didn't know why. There was a lump in the snow he kept staring at for long periods of time, curious. Finally, he decided he would go outside and satisfy his curiosity.

The detective put on a hoodie, jacket, coat, and boots and a scarf. He opened the door, swiftly sneaking out and shutting the door. Shuichi narrowed his eyes, trying to see. He moved towards the lump in the snow.

Shuichi used his sleeves to move the snow around, and eventually he found something. The detective frowned and moved more snow, it was a frostbitten hand. He gasped lowly and grabbed it, pulling it further away from the cold blanket of snow.

Connected to the hand was a body only dressed in a hoodie and shorts, filthy clothes. And soaked purple hair stained with snowflakes. Skin nipped and bitten by the cold, they were small and trembling like a leaf in the fall.

The bluenette held the limp body, pressing his fingers against their frozen neck for a pulse. Coincidentally, there was a weak pulse. Shuichi concluded this person was homeless. So he stood up and carried the half-dead body to his house, to the warmth.

Anxiety and shivers ran through the detective's body as he frantically searched for a place to put him. He sighed sharply and rushed to the bathroom, wrapping a towel around the body as he ran the water. Once it was hot, he put the limp body in the water, thawing their frozen clothes and frostbitten skin. 

"The cold can't get you in here..." he whispered, holding the back of the body's head, his fingers intertwined with their locks, he kissed their frozen lips, "not here, my beloved Ouma-kun..."

He and Kokichi had dated for years, everyone saying their love would never last, the couple always thought of their romance as the Romeo and Juliet type. Forbidden, not allowed, and quite frankly looked down upon. They'd pretended not to know each other outside but inside, they were free to do whatever they pleased. Their passionate love was unbreakable, a detective and his chase. A criminal and his captor. Although the 'crimes' he committed were just harmless pranks.

Shuichi finished bathing Kokichi and took him out to dry him off. He changed the purplenette's clothes, having him wear a fluffy set of pajamas that he'd gotten as an anniversary gift for the small leader.

He blow dried his hair and brought the purplenette to the bedroom. Shuichi tucked him in and placed a wet washcloth on his forehead. The detective moved strands of Kokichi's hair out of the way, and he planted gentle kisses on his cheek.

"Dearest... I hope you wake up soon, because I need to really scold you about almost dying." He sighed.

The next day the power was out, so the detective lit candles and put them all around the house. He sat beside the bed awaiting his beloved.

"M-Mm.." Kokichi began to open his eyes.

"Koki!" Shuichi grabbed his hand, kissing it, "how do you feel..? You know after you almost died in my yard..."

The purplenette frowned, "awful..." he took a break to sneeze, "I just want to lay in your arms forever..."

"I know dearest... just don't do that again." He whispered calmly.

"I'll try... but... you're not going to throw me out into the cold are you?"

"Why would I..? I'll let you stay..."

Shuichi left the room for a moment, cooking chicken soup on the stove since the microwave was dead. He also got some milk and returned to his beloved, sitting him up and feeding him by the spoonful.

Staring at the sick Kokichi Ouma weakly eating his soup under the dim light from the candles made Shuichi's heart skip a few beats. He looked absolutely adorable, he couldn't help but kiss his deeply flushed cheeks.

"Mm..?" The small leader looked at him.

"You're so adorable..." he whispered.

"... you love watching me suffer..." he cooed teasingly.

"Awe darling..." Shuichi kissed him again. "I promise you'll get better... I'll stay with you until you're healthy..."

"Please do, lovely..." Kokichi twirled his finger around a strand of the detective's blue locks.

"I will..." he caressed the purplenette's cheek.

The bluenette pampered his exhausted beloved with kisses and cuddles. He fed him his favorite foods and gave him medicine, although no matter how hard he tried Kokichi just wouldn't sleep.

Shuichi frowned, nuzzling the side of Kokichi's head, "dearest... you need rest... you're very sick."

"S-Shumai you know I get nightmares..." he frowned, "I refuse to sleep knowing there's a high chance of having one... unless.. you have a way to soothe the ultimate supreme leader to a gentle sleep...?~" he purred.

"You know I do..." the detective smirked.

The bluenette purred a soft lullaby into Kokichi's ear. He moved his hand to the other side of his beloved's face to run his gentle fingers through his hair. This combination was the perfect recipe for his Ouma-Kun to fall into a deep undisturbed sleep.

"S-Shuichi no..." he murmured, yawning.

"Shuichi yes...~"

Soon the tiny purplenette's eyes drifted shut as he found himself clinging to Shuichi's arm in his sleep. The detective found it adorable how he'd cling in his sleep although he'd never admit it. Shuichi picked up his phone and took a picture of his sleeping devil. He snickered, knowing Kokichi would absolutely kill him if he knew that photo existed.

"Dearest leader, won't you be more careful...?"


	16. Insert Mother Mother Quote Here

"So.. you've figured it out..." Tsumugi purred playfully, spinning a strand of hair around her finger. "You know I am the mastermind..."

"Yes.. and we did it together!!" Shuichi shouted at the bluenette, grabbing Kokichi's hand.

"Yeah your game's pretty boring anyways.." he rolled his eyes.

"Oh.. oh dear..." the cosplayer giggled lightly.

Suddenly she pressed a button, the ground beneath the detective and his partner collapsed, leaving them falling into a dark room. Shuichi yelped in surprise, throbbing pain shooting up his legs when they landed. Kokichi winced, experiencing the same pain.

"It's punishment time! Now then, I'll give you a ten second head start to run!" Tsumugi's face appeared on a monitor nearby.

Shuichi got to his feet, "K.. Kokichi we need to run...!!!" He grabbed Kokichi, collecting him in his arms.

"10!"

"Nggh.. damnit!!" The purplenette grunted, holding his leg tightly, "I think I twisted my ankle..!"

"I-It's okay!!" Shuichi picked him up fully, running towards the exit at the end of the tunnel.

"9! Man this seems familiar..."

"We can make it! We can make it!!" The bluenette smiled, stumbling to the door and reaching out to it.

"8!"

"S-Shuichi what's that noise..." Kokichi murmured urgently, as a whirring noise filled the air.

"It's fine we're just—"

SHHKK

"Crap... my timing's off..." Tsumugi giggled carelessly.

Long metal rods had impaled both Shuichi and Kokichi in multiple places. Pain shot through their bodies as they collapsed into the ground, screaming together, crying as blood collected around them ever so slowly. They were going to die slowly.

Very

Slowly.

Shuichi breathed heavily and desperately, caressing his partner's face. The small leader wept from pain, twitching and trying to smile. Though his attempts were useless.

"Kokichi... Kokichi Kokichi..." he whispered hushly, resting his forehead against Kokichi's. "Are you okay..."

"Y.. no.. n-no I'm not.. we're gonna die, you idiot!!" He coughed, blood spattering out of his mouth and dripping down his chin.

"Shh.. shhh I'm here..." Shuichi cooed gently, trembling.

"Ghhh... nngghhh... it hurts it hurts so much..!!"

"I know..! I know..." Shuichi rocked his twitching body back and forth gently, breathing sharply.

Silence persisted, the two dying very slowly, alone in the dark. Tears escaped both partners' eyes as they thought about death.

"Remember when I first said I was going to kill you..." Kokichi whispered. "The look in your eyes full of confusion and fear... hehe.. I really got you..."

"..." Shuichi smiled, "yeah... I was pretty confused..."

"Mm.. yeah... it was fun teasing you so much.. playing games... I-I.. wish it would've lasted..." Kokichi teared up, sniffling.

"Hm..." the detective held his hand tighter, "remember when you ate so much candy and so many sweets you had a sugar rush and climbed a tree.. I was so worried you'd fall.. which you did... you crashed and I caught you as you laid half asleep, exhausted... and we dozed off together under that tree..." he ran his fingers through the leader's hair.

Kokichi giggled softly, closing his eyes as he gripped his bloody clothing. The detective chuckled in return, blood dripping from his mouth and nose.

"What about when we had our tea party... you spilled your tea all over your pants!" The purplenette purred.

"Awe you remember that...?" The detective ruffled his hair.

"How can I not... you danced around crying like a little girl..."

"How about when you played the knife game.. you jabbed your poor little finger with the knife..." Shuichi picked up Kokichi's hand, staring at his still bandaged finger and kissing it gently, "the smile you gave while I treated your injury.. you looked like a doofus.." he chuckled.

"Awe no fair..!" Kokichi giggled.

The purplenette winced, blood suddenly spurting from his torso as Shuichi moved only slightly. His wincing turned to sobbing, grabbing Shuichi's shoulders tightly and burying his face in his chest.

"I'm sorry, Kichi..!" He whimpered.

"Hehe.. remember when we had a sleepover in your dorm room..."

"Well you had a nightmare and came to me for comfort so I wouldn't call it a sleepover.." Shuichi smiled.

"Well if we're being totally honest... you really helped..." the leader cuddled up to him.

Shuichi coughed, "how about when we played Rock Paper Scissors... we tied every time and wouldn't tell me how..."

"Precision.. Shuichi.. it's all about precision... and prediction of course..."

"I don't think it matters... we.. we're going to die.." Shuichi shut his eyes, "I don't wanna die... d-damnit..! I don't want to die! I haven't even gotten married.. or fulfilled my promise to Kaede! Or—"

Kokichi pulled him close, stealing his lips in a tender and gentle kiss. The detective stared at him with surprise, but returned the kiss with just as much love and acceptance. Finally their lips broke apart, both letting out a sharp breath.

"I love you, Shumai..." Kokichi whispered weakly.

"I.. love you too..." Shuichi's body gave out, as did Kokichi's, leaving them breathless and motionless on the ground.

The last thing they saw was light. A bright light above them they assumed was heaven. Then, their eyelids fell shut, Shuichi and Kokichi holding each other's hand gently for comfort, awaiting the afterlife.

Shuichi's eyes opened slowly, light overtaking his sensitive irises. He listened, a loud beep beep beep torturing his eardrums. A dull ache overcame his senses as he felt around. A bed. He was in bed. A hospital bed. He immediately looked over, Kokichi was in a bed beside him.

The detective sighed softly in relief, grabbing the purplenette's hand tightly and kissing it. They were alive. They'd survived, and he didn't care how. He just wanted to be safe with his beloved.


	17. Yours, Only Yours

Shuichi was taking his husband home from the hospital. Kokichi had frequent checkups due to his deteriorating health. He gripped the steering wheel firmly as he looked over at his broken doll. Such an empty blind gaze in Kokichi's eyes that made him seem lifeless.

The detective sighed and grabbed his lover's hand gently, he quite honestly felt ashamed. After all their years of living together, that game still haunted him and ate away at Kokichi's soul. And now he hasn't smiled in four years. Hell, Kokichi doesn't even talk.

As they pulled into the driveway, the bluenette got out and picked up Kokichi. His legs were cold. He sighed and carried the leader inside, placing him on the couch. He slowly took off the purplenette's prosthetic legs and arm braces. He set them aside and laid a gentle kiss on his cheek, admiring what was still left of him.

Kokichi had his legs removed due to complications of his illness. And his body was so weak he couldn't even open a jar. He was malnourished and petite, looking like he could die of starvation any second. And he had dark bags under his eyes from heavy insomnia. But... Shuichi looked past that. He decided to focus on Kokichi's hair. The purplenette's hair was a dead lavender due to side effects of the simulation, however the bluenette dyed his hair back to its original color. His hair was still fluffy and fun to play with and string his fingers into. Such a small delicate gesture would've been enough to make the small boy smile. But not anymore.

He was a broken doll. He was hopeless, simply waiting for his death. Shuichi hated seeing him like this. Ensnared in a web of despair and lies.

The bluenette got up, trudging to their averagely decorated kitchen. He opened the fridge, gazing upon the selection in front of him. Finally he decided upon a plastic cup of strawberry yogurt and a spoon.

He made his way back gingerly to his lover, who's eyes were shut tight. He sat down next to him and got a spoonful of yogurt and tapped the leader's lips gently. Getting the memo, he parted his lips slightly. Shuichi slid the spoon into Kokichi's mouth, surprising him with the gentle sensation of strawberry on his tongue.

"I know you asked for blueberry.. but I got strawberry instead... I hope that's alright." The bluenette spoke hushedly.

"..." he hummed.

Shuichi sighed, longing for the sweet relief of hearing the boy's voice again. See his smile or hear his signature giggle. To see life in those glossy eyes of two different colors. He sighed sadly and turned away.

Kokichi immediately looked at the detective, "..." he slowly moved his hand, feeling for Shuichi's. "S.. Shu... ichi..."

Shuichi looked at him and smiled slightly, holding his hand, "my dear Kichi..."

"Are you sad..?" He whispered, seemingly emotionless.

"Yes... I am..."

"Why.." the purplenette inched closer to him.

"I miss you, Kokichi..." he cupped the smaller boy's face in his hands, "I miss your smile.. your laugh.. and the life in your beautiful eyes..."

"..."

"How could such a dreaded despair snatch up my dear beloved Koki dough before he had a chance to live a blissful life..." he murmured, pulling Kokichi into a hug.

"I'm sorry..." he responded.

A cold pang hit Shuichi's back gently, causing him to pull away from the tender embrace. He gazed upon his lover, only to find tears filling his lifeless eyes.

"Oh.. honey..." he whispered, hugging him again. "It's okay... I'm here for you..."

Kokichi gripped Shuichi's shirt tightly, "I'm so sorry..."

"Don't you dare be sorry... you deserve to heal... and I'll be waiting for you... no matter how long it takes I'll be here with you, when you cry... when you fall down... I'll be here forever.. and I'll never leave again..! I swear it!" The bluenette whimpered through newly found tears.

"..." he sighed gently, "bath..."

Kokichi couldn't bear to see his husband upset, and he could tell Shuichi was about to have a mental breakdown. Whenever that happened they had a bath together.

So Shuichi sighed and carried his blind love to the bathroom, his body quivering from anxiety and guilt. It weighed heavy on his soul, but at least some things never changed. He started the water, making sure it was hot but not too hot. Once it was full, he put in soap, since he knew his beloved loved bubbles. The couple stripped down to bare nudity, leaving them only dressed in bandages from past scars. Shuichi brought the leader into the tub with him.

He held his husband right in his lap, leaning into the crook of his neck. Kokichi reached slowly behind him, petting and playing with the detective's silky hair. He began to run his fingers through it, despite not knowing his surroundings.

"Do you feel better..?" Kokichi murmured gently.

"Yes.. much better..." he planted kisses on the leader's back and shoulder.

The purplenette let out a low hum, his cheeks flushing a light pink as Shuichi worshipped his naked body with gentle kisses. The soft sound of ripples in the water and the feeling of the detective's lips on his body made Kokichi quite tired.

Kokichi yawned, "mm.."

"Do you wanna get out...?" The bluenette purred.

"Mhm..."

Shuichi climbed out with the smaller boy in his arms, sitting down on the toilet to dry off. Shuichi eyed the fading scars on the boy's chest and smiled, laying another kiss on the crook of his neck.

Once they were dry, the detective got dressed into his grey, uninteresting boxers and a white t-shirt with a penguin on it. While he dressed Kokichi in his own equally uninteresting boxers and Shuichi's favorite hoodie. The purplenette blushed and held himself, melting under the warmth of the freshly dried hoodie.

Once dressed and comfy in bed, Shuichi watched as the small leader took his medicine. He of course helped occasionally, like with eye drops. But over all he mainly watched his beautiful love take such care in healing.

"You're so strong, Kichi..." he whispered hushedly, cuddling his dear lover.

"Mm.. whatever you say.. the truth is that you're stronger..." he mumbled, his thigh twitched slightly.

"Hm...?"

"I mean.. the whole game... I really admired you..." the leader blushed.

"Shh... you're stronger... believe me. I'm always right.." Shuichi kissed him once again.

The kiss turned to soft pecks against Kokichi's skin, and Shuichi absolutely cherishing the boy, showering him in love. He understood that he needed to be patient with Kokichi if he ever wanted to see him smile again, to hear his laugh that could pierce the heavens. From what he remembered, the leader's smile could part an ocean, at least that's what he imagined. Since his smile was so innocent yet mischievous, full of youth and life.

"I love you.. to the moon and back..." Shuichi whispered.

There was silence, so he looked his dear lover in the eyes, he was completely taken aback by what he saw. He saw a light in those pale eyes, one of hope and youth.

And the soft innocent smile he fell head over heels for so many years ago.


	18. Icy Fingers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I got a doctor’s degree PHD in making grown men cry

Splash. The purplenette fell through the ice and into the freezing cold water below. He thought he'd had ice skating mastered, but clearly he was still heavy on his feet.

Panic and adrenaline rushed through his veins as he tried to swim up to the screams of fear and worry above him. The cold was numbing, hurting him and leaving him trembling. Kokichi opened his mouth only slightly to scream, but no sound escaped his throat. Instead it was drowned out by water. Finally he couldn't hold onto his breath...

Kokichi was going to drown.

Closing his eyes to accept his fate, suddenly he was grabbed and pulled up to the surface and back to land.

Shuichi held the shivering leader, holding him close and trying to squeeze the water out of him. He was struggling... Kokichi's boyfriend wasn't exactly strong, per say. So Kaito took over and punched the purplenette in the gut, making him throw up all the lake water. And now Kokichi had a large bruise forming on his stomach...

Shuichi held Kokichi, "oh Kichi..! I thought I lost you!! Don't scare me like that again!!"

The purplenette groaned a little, "i-its fine... but.. could we go home..? I'd like to sit in front of the fireplace..."

"Of course.. anything for you..." the bluenette stood up, "I'm terribly sorry guys... but we need to get going."

"It's okay Shuichi! We'll be fine!" Kaede chuckled.

The detective wrapped Kokichi's arm around his shoulder and began walking home. The two were moderately dressed for a snow day. Shuichi wore a coat, a beanie, jeans, his shoes, a scarf, and gloves. All black of course.

However Kokichi wore something more colorful. A checkered scarf, a purple jacket, grey sweatpants, black boots, a rainbow shirt, and purple mittens.

Once they got to Shuichi's house, the leader went to the bedroom and got changed into Shuichi's clothes. He loved wearing his boyfriend's clothes. Once that was done, Shuichi helped dry his soaking cold hair.

"You sure you're okay..?" Shuichi murmured.

"Yes I'm perfectly fine."

"O-Okay.. uh. I got promoted yesterday! I'm no longer an intern.. now I'm a rookie detective!"

"Really? That's so great!" Kokichi purred.

"I know! I'm so happy!"

Finally, Kokichi was curled up in a blanket on the floor in front of the fireplace. Shuichi had lit the fire very carefully, as he was afraid he might burn down the house. So the little leader watched the flames crackle and dance among the wood.

Shuichi sat next to him, doing a word search puzzle. Kokichi sighed shallowly, beginning to pant softly. He closed his eyes gently.

"H-Hm.. I-I feel weird.." he murmured breathlessly.

"Huh? Maybe some tea and medicine would help..."

"Yeah y-you're right.."

The purplenette slowly and shakily got to his feet. He started to make tea, losing his breath. He sighed shakily as he waited for the tea to be ready.

"I feel.. so tired.. and weak..." he murmured through pants.

"Why don't you sit down then.. I'll get you your tea." The bluenette got up and escorted Kokichi back to the fireplace, this time in a comfy chair.

Shuichi soon returned and gave him his tea. However the purplenette was far too weak to drink it. He trembled, his eyes begging to be shut. His partner noticed this and worried.

"Are you okay..?"

"Yes.. I'm fine..." Kokichi insisted.

"..." Shuichi began to worry way more.

The symptoms only worsened, at this point he was panting, sweating, and shivering more than before. He slowly got up and began to shuffle to the stairs.

"I-I'm going to bed..." he whispered breathlessly.

"Okay babe..."

His vision blurred as he became more lightheaded. Then suddenly, everything went dark. Kokichi collapsed on the floor, making a loud thump.

The bluenette stood up and screamed, running to his side and holding him up. Tears flooded his eyes as he patted Kokichi's face.

"C'mon wake up!! Wake up!!"

Shuichi trembled as he got out his phone and dialed 911, hastily explaining the situation to them. The ambulance was on its way, so Shuichi needed to stall.

"Oh god..." he shut his eyes, instinctively beginning to run his fingers through his lover's purple hair.

Kokichi opened his eyes slightly, "S-S-Shuichi..." he whispered, shaking.

"Shh.. shhh.. the ambulance is on its way... y-you hear my heartbeat..? Just focus on that..."

"S-Shumai I'm scared..!" He whimpered through tears.

Shuichi was crying as well, "shhh... we're okay... I'm here for you okay..? I'll stay right here with you... I won't leave your side. I promise..."

"O-Okay... I love you.."

"I love you too..."

Hearing the faint sirens in the background, Kokichi fell unconscious once again. The bluenette kept his promise. He didn't leave his side throughout the whole ride. Doctors running in and out, running tests and injecting medicine. 

Shuichi stayed in the waiting room, anxiously waiting for results. When finally a doctor called him up. The detective hopped out of his chair and rushed over, instinctively grabbing the doctor's sleeve.

"I'm afraid your partner has ARDS.. Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome... as well as pneumonia, he'll have to stay here a while while he's being treated." She spoke smoothly.

"O-Oh god.. I should've brought him in earlier!! This is all my fault I—"

"Sir please calm down... we're doing the best we can and you've done a great job already."

Shuichi whimpered, "can I see him?"

All she did was nod, bringing Shuichi to Kokichi's room. Inside the hospital room, the purplenette was still unconscious, hooked up to all sorts of hospital machinery to help him stay alive.

The detective pouted helplessly, pulling up a chair and sitting next to the bed. Slowly, he brought his hands to Kokichi's. He held the purplenette's hand gently, rubbing his sweaty and cold skin comfortingly with his thumb. The nurse left them alone.

Shuichi leaned down and scooped the leader into his arms, whispering sweet nothings in his ear while he slept. He cradled him, tears flooding his yellow eyes and falling onto his lover's face.

The bluenette was exhausted from the panic, so he returned Kokichi to his bed and leaned back in his chair, letting his eyes close into a light and unwelcome sleep.

"S-Shu.. ichi..?"

He woke up with a start to a hoarse call of his name. Shuichi opened his eyes quickly to see his beloved's eyes barely open. He hastily grabbed his hand and cupped the boy's hot cheek in his hand.

"Are you okay..? Do you need a nurse..?"

Kokichi shook his head, shivering only slightly as he leaned over and laid his head on Shuichi's chest, "Shuichi..." he whispered painfully.

"Oh.. Kichi..." he reached up and ran his fingers through his hair.

Shuichi once again cradled his lover, humming softly to him while he ran his fingers through his hair comfortingly. Kokichi was quiet, which was unusual. It would take days maybe weeks for the purplenette to recover. However, the detective would stay as long as he could.

A week passed, Kokichi was doing much better. But still sick. However the doctors said he could go home. So after all the paperwork, the bluenette placed Kokichi in a wheelchair and pushed him out to the front. Kaito drove his car up and opened the door for the couple.

"Hey! Long time no see?" He smiled.

"Yeah.. take us home, okay?"

And with that, the tall purplenette took the two home. Kokichi leaned against Shuichi the whole time, wrapped in a warm blanket. Once they reached the small home, both Kaito and Shuichi helped Kokichi get through the cold winter wind and into the warmth of the house.

Kaito then left, though the detective carried Kokichi the rest of the way. He entered the bedroom and moved the covers out of the way, laying the purplenette down in bed. Then, he tucked him in with as many blankets as he could find, making sure he was comfy.

"Would you like some chicken soup?" He whispered.

"Yeah..."

Shuichi sighed gently, leaving the bedroom. He went to the kitchen and began preparing soup for his beloved. He hummed as he watched the soup cook and boil, only glad that Kokichi was okay. He reached over and mixed some medicine into the soup before pouring some into a bowl and dipping in a spoon, bringing it to the bedroom.

The purplenette looked over at Shuichi and smiled as he was given the soup. Kokichi began taking small spoonfuls into his mouth as the detective watched.

"Do you like it..?" He whispered as to not trigger his lover's aching head.

"Yeah.. I really do..."

Shuichi smiled, "I love you.."

"I love you too..."


	19. Visiting Hours

The detective tapped his foot anxiously against the floor, holding a small bundle of flowers in his hands. He was sitting in a chair in a waiting room of a hospital, waiting for the okay from the nurse. He has arrived to visit Kokichi.

Shuichi caressed each flower, making sure they were perfect for the purplenette. He sighed, thinking to himself about what happened beforehand.

After they'd been rescued from the killing game, Kokichi's recovery had been extended due to his health suddenly worsening. He was in surgery yesterday, when Shuichi heard about it he became very worried.

"Mr Saihara?" A nurse asked.

Shuichi stood up, "yes? Is he okay?"

"You may see him now."

The bluenette quickly followed the nurse to one of the recovery rooms. He gripped the flowers tighter, searching the beds. He finally found the purplenette and smiled thoughtfully, running to his side and planting the flowers in a nearby vase.

Shuichi let out a soft chuckle, tears in his eyes as he moved Kokichi's bangs back so he could see his face. The purplenette opened his eyes slightly, smiling gently.

"Hey..." Kokichi murmured in a hushed voice.

"Koki dough..." the detective cupped his cheeks in his hands.

"I've been pining for you, Shuichi.."

"I know I know... I've just been so busy.. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you before your surgery... do you feel okay?" He whispered, moving one hand to hold one of Kokichi's hands.

"Yeah.. just feeling woozy from being so sick.." he giggled.

"My little dork..." Shuichi leaned down and kissed the smaller boy's nose.

The leader let out a tiny whimper, gripping the bluenette's clothes. He tried to pull himself out of bed. Shuichi hushed him, leaning over and above him so Kokichi was once again in bed.

"Koki dough.. you have to rest, your scars.."

"Please.. I need you..." he mumbled.

"I know... just please don't hurt yourself..." Shuichi purred.

"Your eyes are so beautiful..." Kokichi commented, smiling at the taller boy.

Shuichi covered his mouth, blush tinging his cheeks, "Koki dough..."

"It's true, I did pinkie promise to never lie to you again... right? I don't go back on my promises..."

"Oh.. Koki.." the detective smiled, "I'd catch every star in the night sky for you..."

In an instant, Kokichi coughed and wheezed, his pale complexion becoming more apparent. Shuichi gripped the boy's shoulder and held him closer to his body as if to protect him. The purplenette kept coughing, beads of sweat trickling down his face.

"Koki dough.. Koki dough.. are you okay..? Do you need anything?" Shuichi murmured wearily.

"I'd like some water..." Kokichi muttered.

"Okay.. I'll be back soon.. stay strong for me.."

Shuichi got to his feet and left, walking the long blank yet crowded hospital halls. He searched for the cafeteria. The hospital cafeteria was quite big, some patients and nurses and doctors catering to themselves with the food from the buffet.

The bluenette moved anxiously through the crowd of people, getting some soup, crackers, some fruits, and water. He knew Kokichi asked just for water, but he also knew his boyfriend was malnourished and weak. So he got him some food.

"Koki dough! I'm ba—"

He dropped the food, letting it crash and scatter everywhere. He stared in a stunned horror at what he saw. Doctors moved him out of the way, taking a crying and screaming Kokichi in a stretcher away, blood leaking through the blanket.

Shuichi grabbed one of the doctors, "w-what's wrong?! Why is he bleeding?!"

"He needs heart surgery.. ASAP.."

The doctor left, and without a second thought, Shuichi ran after the doctors and Kokichi. He jogged at a steady pace next to the stretcher.

Shuichi grabbed the purplenette's hand, "Koki dough!! It's gonna be okay I promise! I'll stay here at the hospital waiting for you.. just stay strong for me! You'll be okay!"

"S-Shu.. mai!!!" He cried.

"Sir please step away, this is a no visitor zone." A doctor stated.

"Oh.. goodbye Kokichi!"

"Please don't leave me!!" The leader whined painfully.

"I love you more than life itself.. I'll never leave..." he kissed his cheek before stopping, watching the doctors take his lover away.

Shuichi shut his eyes, wanting it all to be make-believe. He sighed sorrowfully, returning to the recovery room, awaiting Kokichi's return.

Deep in the night, Shuichi was awakened by rustling in the sheets next to him. He opened his eyes, moving in his chair. The purplenette was in the hospital bed in front of him. He smiled thoughtfully and scooted closer, holding the smaller boy's hand.

"I know this is kinda sappy but I really would steal all the stars for you..." he whispered, massaging the boy's fair skin with his thumb.

Kokichi opened one of his eyes, "and I'd steal the sunlight for you..." he spoke in a hushed voice.

"Oh my Koki dough..." he blushed, "I love you..."

"I love you too Shumai..."

"It's best that you rest, I'll get you some more water tomorrow okay..? Just sleep, I won't leave your side..."

"Okay..."


	20. Sleeby boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kichi is sleeby..

It had been a few days, Tsumugi had called off the killing game and told them all they had to live here for a while while she was getting help. It was a good thing too, the stress of the first motive was making everyone sick. Thankfully they had all decided to wait out the first motive, with Tsumugi immediately losing hope in them killing each other. During that time, everyone's more obnoxious and cruel side showed. Now a week had passed and everyone was waiting to be rescued.

Shuichi was doing better than expected, surprisingly he adapted well to the new environment. A friendly atmosphere with everything they needed to live. However there was a feeling within him of anxiety and dread, thinking about what would've happened if the killing game began.

It was around 8 pm, and the detective wasn't tired. He figured he'd just go hang out with Kaede, but ah.. she would probably be asleep.. he didn't want to risk waking her. Shuichi hated waking people up, especially if there's a chance they sleep naked. He didn't want to risk it. So he got up and left his dorm room.

"Hmm.." he hummed, looking at all the rooms.

The bluenette saw that Kokichi's room was open. He tilted his head to the side, curious. He slowly walked to the room and peeked inside, Kokichi was working. He was drawing, putting things on a cork board. Shuichi slowly stepped inside and looked around Kokichi's room. It was a mess, and there was makeup on his dresser. He wears makeup?

"Kokichi..."

The leader turned around quickly, looking at Shuichi. He had dark bags under his eyes like he hadn't slept in weeks, and red scars on his lips. He also had one purple eye and one blue eye. Shuichi stared. Kokichi frowned and turned away from him.

"Can you get out of my room.. I'm trying to work..." he murmured coldly.

"Why do you hide yourself..?" Shuichi stepped forward, "I mean.. your face... your lips and eyes... why?"

".. I'm not answering your questions.."

"... you should rest..."

"..."

The bluenette grabbed the purplenette's frigidly cold hand, "a-ah... you're so cold!"

"..."

"Just going to give me the silent treatment, huh?"

"..."

Shuichi sighed deeply and took him away from his dorm, and to the detective's. He had Kokichi lay down, taking the time to stare at the boy's face and body.

"Would you like to change..? I um... I have some pajamas you can borrow.." he whispered shyly.

"Sure..." he spoke in a hushed voice, the complete opposite of his loud and obnoxious demeanor. Was he beginning to trust Shuichi?

The bluenette handed Kokichi a neat folded pajama set, letting him change in the bathroom. He waited, his mind wandering to the thought of such a small and petite boy in his bigger clothes. His face felt hot and red from the thought of it.

The small leader left the bathroom wearing Shuichi's pajamas. He crawled back into Shuichi's bed and closed his eyes, simply laying there. He was vulnerable. He was oh so fragile.. could snap like a twig. The bluenette carefully placed his hand on the boy's head. He flinched only slightly in response, opening his eyes. The bluenette ran his fingers through the other's hair.

"Please rest.. you'll get yourself sick..." Shuichi whispered, turning off the light.

"... Saihara.. Chan..." he smiled slightly, closing his eyes and relaxing his body.

Kokichi began to sleep, leaving Shuichi alone and awake. Shuichi stared at him with the dim light coming from a single blue lava lamp in his room. The way it reflected on Kokichi's pale, fair skin was endlessly beautiful. All the little scars that made him human, the small spots of freckles and scars on his lips. His small, dainty hands. You would never expect a boy with such a feminine and childish build would be such a strong capable leader. However those looks have deceived many. Including Shuichi. He learned that night that the annoying and obnoxious brat of a boy he called Kokichi was really a gentle and kind soul underneath.


	21. Nightmare

"SHUICHI!"

As soon as he heard Kokichi call his name from his room, he felt an uneasy tenseness in his body. The bluenette got up from his seat, the room bathed in a deep blood red light. He took one step, the floorboards creaking under his heavy steps. He took another step gingerly. And another, another, then another. Shuichi fearfully stepped towards the purplenette's room. Screams poured out from the room like a flood, Kokichi's screams..

"Ko.. kichi..." he managed to utter through intense fear.

It felt like the corridor kept getting longer and longer, his destination just in arm's reach before he felt dizzy and his mind told him he was farther away than he thought.

Finally, words escaped his lips. "K-Kokichi I'm coming!! I-I.."

He stumbled to the door, finally getting a grasp on it. The metal doorknob was burning, it hurt like hell. Shuichi yanked his hand back as his skin bubbled a deep red like the lights.

Finally, he grabbed the doorknob again and twisted it, pulling the door open. Inside the room, he froze up in fear. There stood the deformed and decomposing cadaver of Tsumugi Shirogane, holding a knife as Kokichi lay in his bed crying. He glared at the bluenette and tried to fight her off while Shuichi watched in fear.

"BACK OFF, HARLOT!" He kicked her.

The cosplayer threw her arm over and gripped the purplenette's skinny neck. The leader flailed about, screaming while he tried to pry those cold dead hands off his neck.

"H-Hey... hey!! Stop!! P-Put him down!" Shuichi took a weary step forward.

"..." Tsumugi tightened her grip, "you killed me, Shuichi..." she spoke in a voice that was high pitched and innocent.

".. w-what..?"

"You found the truth. And you killed so.. many... others... so I refused death. I refused death so I could make you suffer for what you did. I'm going to kill everyone closest to you. Starting with him." She held up the knife.

"W-Wait... NO!! NO!!"

Instead of moving, Shuichi was frozen. He couldn't move. Paralyzed, he felt paralyzed. Tsumugi drove the knife into the purplenette's chest. He screamed and kept squirming on the knife. The bluenette watched as she kept plunging the knife into him.

"STOP! PLEASE I LOVE HIM... DON'T DO THIS! PLEASE!" Shuichi sobbed.

She kept doing it until Kokichi stopped struggling, dropping him on the bed and leaving. Finally, Shuichi was able to move. The bluenette stumbled to him, getting onto the queen sized bed to reach him. The sheets were stained crimson under the leader.

"Ko.. kichi..." he wept, placing a hand on his cheek.

"W-Why..?" He whispered.

"What..?"

"Why didn't you stop her...? Why did you kill us all...?"

"K-Kokichi!!" He cried.

"You're a murderer... you... killed me..."

"NO!! NOOOO!!!"

With a gasp, Shuichi sat up in bed. He was awake. He quickly turned over and looked at his digital clock. 12 am. His senses came back to him as he remembered his nightmare. The detective hopped out of bed and stumbled to Kokichi's bedroom door. He turned the doorknob, stepping inside. His breaths hitching and picking up speed.

He began to relax when he saw the smaller purplenette asleep in bed, his arm braces on and his prosthetic legs beside the bed. He was cuddling his pillow, curled into a small ball under his covers. Shuichi sighed gently, tears in his eyes.

The purplenette opened his eyes, looking up at Shuichi. He rubbed his eyes and sat up.

"Shuichi..? Are you okay..?" He murmured in the most hushed and kindest voice. It took Shuichi by surprise, usually he was a brat.

He blinked, wiping away his tears, "n-nothing... I just had a nightmare..."

"Oh..." he yawned, patting the bed beside him. "Come sit.."

"Ah..? W-What?" Shuichi sniffled.

"Come sit!" He repeated.

The bluenette then crawled into bed next to Kokichi, sitting awkwardly beside him. The leader moved Shuichi so that his head was resting in the purplenette's lap. Shuichi's cheeks flushed a soft pink as Kokichi ran his fingers through his hair.

"Are you okay now..?" He whispered.

"A bit... but I'm still s-shaken up.." Shuichi closed his eyes.

"Oh.. do you wanna talk about it?"

"... do you blame me for what happened to you?" He looked up at Kokichi.

"Hm..?" He yawned again, "no.. no..."

Shuichi smiled, "it's nice to know you're still so cute when you're tired..."

"Cute...? Nishishi... you're such a goober.." he pushed him off his laugh playfully.

"Oh yeah..? You think you can say something cheesier?"

"Hmm.. the sun rises when you wake up because it's happy to see your smile.." Kokichi snickered.

Shuichi's face became red hot, "K-Kokichi..."

He blushed as well, covering his mouth because of what he said, "Ah... heh.."

Shuichi sat up, gazing at the purplenette. He leaned in closer, Kokichi becoming more flustered. The bluenette hugged him, tears forming in his eyes as he gripped the fabric of Kokichi's shirt.

"I love you... don't forget that..."

"Haha.. how could I forget?"


	22. My Only

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stop asking for a part 2 @ Wattpad readers

Comfort, the one thing he craved. Love, what he asked for every day. Courage, the thing he lied about to himself in the mirror. Generosity, what he hid from everyone. And loneliness. The one thing he had.

The purplenette was in darkness, no end in sight. Could he see? No, not that he could tell. He kicked and cried in the dark, but no words escaped his lips. He tried to think but his mind was empty. He had no name or purpose. But there... amongst the dark space... a light.

The light got closer, a ball of light in the boy's hands. It was so warm against his cold skin. He felt... happy. He fell into the fetal position around the light, cradling it and holding it close to his body as tears ran down his cheeks.

There in the light he saw a dream, a fantasy. He and the man of his dreams, living in a small modest house with their baby. The purplenette drank in the dream, he cherished it and cradled it with his soul. However the light began to die in his hands.

He cried out for the light to come back, and just as it disappeared. He saw the man of his dreams in the light. Shuichi Saihara, the Ultimate Detective. He became more distraught, trying to find the light again in the dark, crying without a noise passed his throat. Nobody to comfort him or make him feel happy and safe. He was alone.

Kokichi suddenly opened his eyes to see the press right above his face. He felt numb and cold, he couldn't breathe and it hurt. He vomited a little, coughing. The leader's vision was blurry, and soon he couldn't see anything at all. Finally a word escaped his pale lips.

"... Shu.. ichi..." he murmured sickly.

The press came down lower, he heard his ribs snap underneath the pressure as the coldness touched the side of his face. He had turned his head towards the entrance to the hangar, watching the blurry mass. Inside he hoped and hoped someone would rescue him. However his hoping quickly ceased.

Kokichi had completely given up.

Suddenly an unfamiliar voice, not Kaito's. He listened, tried to. But he could barely hear. The press stopped and began to lift up off of his body, leaving his chest bleeding and terribly bruised and almost flattened.

A hand cradled the boy's head, another resting the tip of a bottle against his lips. He drank the contents, though he had given up. And finally, he closed his eyes, accepting his fate.

"This is all my fault..!! If I hadn't—"

"Shuichi it wasn't your fault.. don't blame yourself for this!"

"How can I not?! It's all my fault! Everything! D-Damnit!"

The purplenette was awake, however he didn't want to believe it. He refused to open his eyes, tuning out whoever was beside him and focusing on the beeping of a monitor beside him.

"H-Hey.. guys I think Kokichi's awake! He's awake!"

"Well with your loud shouting I couldn't blame him for being awake..."

Kokichi opened his eyes at last, he had a mask covering his nose and mouth, it was pushing air into his lungs. He stared at the people in his makeshift hospital room. Kaito, Maki, Himiko, Keebo, Tsumugi, and... Shuichi...

"Sh... u..." he uttered, exhausted.

Shuichi jumped beside him and held his hand, "Kokichi!! Please.. please rest.. don't speak or anything just rest... the antidote is making its way through your system now... and uh.. Keebo did surgery on you! He repaired your ribs..." he smiled, "Himiko and Tsumugi provided the medical equipment... and Kaito carried you here..."

".. mm.. aki..." he turned towards Maki.

"I didn't want any part of this." She glared.

"C'mon Maki Roll.. give him a break..." the astronaut pat the brunette's shoulder.

Kokichi groaned before he vomited into his mask, coughing and choking. The bluenette gasped and lifted him up, taking off the dirty mask and helping the leader.

"C-Can you breathe okay..?" He whispered.

".. n-no..."

"T-Tsumugi please go clean the mask and bring it back! Everyone else, you're dismissed.. I think he needs some space.."

"Finally.." Maki left abruptly.

The others left until it was just Kokichi and Shuichi alone in the room together. Alone, together. Never had he thought he'd be alone with Shuichi. The bluenette tried to keep Kokichi breathing steadily, though he was panicking. Suddenly the leader gripped his finger weakly.

"I..m.. s-sca....red..." he coughed.

"I-I know.. but y-you'll be okay I swear it! Tsumugi should be back any minute now with your mask and then you'll be okay!!" He exclaimed.

"... d..id.. you... m-me..an... what... y-you s-sa...—" he coughed and vomited, crying.

Shuichi quickly helped him calm down, cleaning up the mess the best he could and replacing the blankets. "D-Did I mean what..?"

"... I'm.. a-alone..." he uttered.

"..."

The detective stared sadly at the boy, guilty as can be. Slowly and carefully, he held the purplenette's hand in his own. Their fingers interlocked, like that of lovers. Shuichi smiled shyly at the weak boy.

"You will never be alone so long as I'm with you..." he whispered, his cheeks tinged a soft pink.

Kokichi grinned gently, tears running down his sickly pale skin. "S..Shui..."

"Shh.. j-just rest... okay? I'll be here..."

"Mmn..." he closed his eyes.

The purplenette fell into a deep and unwelcome sleep, returning to the dark void. He looked around weakly, searching for the light. For his dream, and for the life he wanted. Suddenly the darkness faded, and he saw his dream house. His fantasy, he smiled and giggled as he ran to the house. He gripped the doorknob and twisted it, throwing open the door.

"S-Shuichi!" He smiled with tears in his eyes.

There was Shuichi, he smiled and hugged Kokichi tight. He kissed the purplenette lovingly.

"My love... ah! Aiko's in the living room playing.. I've been teaching him how to walk!" He spoke smoothly.

"Really? Can I see?" The leader held his hand.

"Yes.. c'mon!" He brought him to the living room.

There sat a little boy, around 2-3 years old. He was wearing a small onesie, playing with a small bunny. He had light blue hair, with purple tips. He looked up at the couple with his beautiful dark blue eyes and an innocent smile. Shuichi sat down beside him and held him, helping Aiko stand.

"Okay, Aiko! Show dada how good you can walk!" He whispered.

"Oki!" The toddler giggled.

Aiko seemed to waddle towards Kokichi with his arms open. The purplenette started to cry with a smile, reaching and picking up the small toddler. He giggled, kissing the boy's forehead lovingly.

"I'm so happy... my son.. you make me so proud!" He cried.

"Dada!" The toddler giggled, kicking his legs.

"I love you both so much..." Kokichi cried.

Suddenly he opened his eyes, his dream had ended and he looked around sadly. He whimpered, and started to cry. Shuichi had left. Kokichi cried and screamed for someone. Anyone. However the breathing mask on his face muffled it all. He tugged at his own hair as he screamed.

The door opened, "K-Kokichi!" It was Shuichi.

He stopped and looked at him, "S-Shu—!! Sh..."

"A-Are you okay?! I heard screaming!"

"S.. S-Scared.. so... sc.. ared..." he cried.

"Oh.. 'Kichi..."

The bluenette held him gently and thoughtfully, rubbing his back. He stopped suddenly after feeling the boy flinch from pain.

"Did you have a nightmare..?" He whispered.

"No.. the opposite.. I had the best dream and I was so sad it ended..." he murmured.

"Oh.. what happened?"

Kokichi blushed, "... um... hm.."

"... is it.. private?" Shuichi murmured, blushing.

"No.. it was the best dream.. a fantasy..." he closed his eyes, blushing, "um.. I lived in a small house with the love of my life a-and a small baby.. and our baby walked for the first time to me!! A-And..." he sniffled, crying.

".. wow.. I never thought you'd be the kind of person to want to settle down with a family..." he murmured, blushing.

"Yeah... I guess..."

Shuichi smiled, hugging him again. The leader hugged back as tightly as his arms would let him. The bluenette gasped softly as the boy crawled out of bed just to get closer to him. He blushed, covering his mouth.

"I love you..." he whispered.

"Huh? Did you say something?" Shuichi looked at him.

"Oh.. n-no.. I didn't..."

"Are you sure?"

"... no..."


	23. Hey, Don’t Do It Please

The bluenette sat tirelessly in bed, working away as the night carried on and blanketed him in darkness. Shuichi looked out the window at the crescent moon, enchanted by the shimmering stars. His phone pinged, urging his eyes away and to his phone screen. It was a message from Kokichi, his best friend.

'Dearest Shumai!~ I'm at the tippy top of the tallest building in the city! If you want to rescue me you'll have to hurry because I'm such a klutz and I may fall~'

His tired eyes drifted open as he read each word, he knew the tallest building. It was the one they lived in. Shuichi threw his laptop to the end of the bed to escape his apartment. He glanced wearily at the elevators, quickly deciding to go up the stairs. The detective was no longer tired, his veins filled with adrenaline.

He threw open the door to see the purplenette at the edge of the roof, his hospital gown drifting in the wind. He had just been released, and was supposed to visit that night.

"Kokichi stop!!" He cried out, distraught.

The boy giggled, "you're here... you actually came..." he turned towards him, exhausted, crying, and covered in scars.

"Please... don't do this! Come stay with me... I'll help you!! Just please don't do this, don't leave me!"

"Shumai... I have nothing to live for. This empty shell of a leader is simply that. Empty. What was once a soul in here is gone and withered away... replaced by these deep intrusive thoughts... ugh.. it's too hard to explain. I just need to end this now..." Kokichi grunted in frustration.

"W-What about me..." Shuichi looked heartbroken, "you don't want to live for me?"

"I-I..." the purplenette whimpered and covered his eyes.

"Please.. come inside, vent to me! I'll listen and I'll try to help you! You're not alone in this... I'm here... I'm here..."

"How can you possibly be here if you don't even feel the way I feel! I feel so distant from you! Like I'm not even human!" He inched closer to the edge, his prosthetic legs removed and behind him.

"K-Kokichi please don't do this!! Please don't leave me!!" Shuichi sobbed, breaking down to his knees.

"... goodbye, Shumai..."

"NO!!"

He ran to him, embracing him tightly and throwing himself backwards away from the edge. Shuichi held Kokichi under him, holding him like it was the end of the world. The purplenette was taken aback, unsure of what to do.

Shuichi was completely silent. He simply held Kokichi in the cold, tight enough that he couldn't escape and gentle enough that he would be comfortable. The purplenette soon began to cry, grabbing the soft fabric of Shuichi's shirt in his small and dainty scarred hands.

"Stay with me..." Shuichi whispered gently into his ear.

"B-But.."

"I don't.. care... I need you to trust me.. to vent to me.. let me help you..." he murmured through tears.

"..."

Shuichi picked him up, cradling his head and carrying him back to his apartment. The purplenette stared at his prosthetic legs, he wanted to ask Shuichi to get them for him, but at the same time he just wanted to stay quiet and stay with the bluenette.

Once they arrived, the detective wrapped him in a blanket, resting him in his bed. Kokichi felt embarrassed to be this vulnerable, not used to being flustered. Shuichi sat beside him and sat him up, pushing the blanket aside as he grabbed the back strings of Kokichi's hospital gown. He looked up at the purplenette, waiting for the okay. He nodded in response, watching Shuichi untie the back and slip it off of Kokichi's skinny body.

The detective let his gaze fall over the boy's body, blush tinting his pale complexion. He quickly turned away and went to his closet, eyeing each organized and folded set of clothes. He grabbed a set, a pretty blue pajama set. Then helped Kokichi put it on. The pant legs were way too long on his shortened legs, but that didn't matter. Shuichi held the leader closely, caressing each strand of his hair.

"Please.. never do that again..." he whispered.

"..."

"I can't stand the thought of you getting hurt... so let's just.. keep going.. until things feel okay... cuz they aren't right now, but one day they will..."

"Shuichi..." he whispered thoughtfully.

Kokichi looked up at the detective, his eyes glistening and puffy and red from the tears, although there was beauty to it. To every little scar on his body, an imperfection. It was beautiful, so so beautiful.

"Yes?" He responded softly.

"I.. don't want to be friends..." Kokichi whispered in a hushed voice.

".. w-what..?" He whimpered.

"I wanna be more..."

Shuichi blushed, "what?"

"I-I..." the purplenette sighed, "I'm madly in love with you, Shumai!!" He cried out.

"You... love me?"

Kokichi got too frustrated, and grabbed Shuichi by the collar of his shirt. He pulled him closer until their lips touched in a tender kiss. The bluenette returned it with just as much passion, if not more. He cradled the boy's head in the kiss, holding him like it was the end of the world.

When the two broke away from the kiss, Shuichi laid down next to him. He tugged the blankets up to engulf the two, grabbing Kokichi's dainty hands with a smile. The two giggled quietly, cuddling. Kokichi was exhausted, laying hesitant and gentle kisses along his new lover's face. However the detective made him stop, so that he could rest.


	24. Liar Liar

A single cherry on a sundae of madness. A grin plastered on his pale face. Kokichi Ouma, Ultimate Supreme Leader, was standing before the remaining students in the Trial Room after Gonta was executed. Kaito coughed and stepped back, Maki holding his arm. Everyone was focused on Kokichi.

"Hey at least I have my partner, right Shuichi?!" He laughed.

"Gh.. no, Kokichi. We're here for Kaito! And he's here for us!" Shuichi gulped and fought back tears, "you're alone, Kokichi... and you always will be."

"Haha that's!— Huh?" Kokichi became silent.

"You heard me, Kokichi... go on, you've done enough damage." He turned away from him to help Kaito.

Despite what the bluenette said, Kokichi remained where he stood. Kaito pushed him and Maki away and left, stumbling and tripping over himself as he did. Shuichi turned to Kokichi with a frown. Still there. Kokichi turned to leave but He grabbed his arm.

"Kokichi, tell me the truth! What is the meaning of this?!" Shuichi shouted.

"..."

"Answer me, damnit!" The detective pulled on his arm.

"Let go of my arm, Shuichi..." he murmured.

"Tell me what I want to know and I will..."

"You're hurting me."

"Shuichi let the brat go..." Maki muttered sourly.

"No! We need to know the truth!"

Kokichi tried to pull his arm away but he gripped his sleeve tight. Then, it tore. Kokichi collapsed on the ground, his sleeve in Shuichi's hand. Kokichi's forearm was exposed, revealing red cuts along his arm like tiger stripes. Everyone gasped, including the detective. They... looked recent. Very recent.

"K.. Kokichi..." the detective whispered gingerly, gripping the fabric of the sleeve tightly.

"..."

The purplenette got to his feet shakily, holding his bleeding arm, and ran to the elevator. Shuichi flinched and followed, stepping into the elevator with Kokichi.

"Leave me alone!!" He snapped, pushing Shuichi away from him.

"I-I.. Kokichi please.. why would you do this to yourself?"

"Nishishi... you're such an IDIOT, Saihara-Chan~"

"Drop the act!!" He cried, "please.. I wanna know what you're REALLY thinking..."

"What I'm.. really thinking?" Kokichi repeated softly.

"Yes.." he slowly reached his hand to hold Kokichi's, however he didn't let him take it.

"C.. Can I really trust you..." he whispered.

"Yes! You can trust me!"

Kokichi held his injured arm gingerly, beginning to cry gently. He closed his eyes as his grip tightened.

"A-Ah.. Kokichi..?"

"I-I'm so guilty.. I'm so overwhelmed with despair I just can't take it..." he whimpered.

"..."

"I just want to end it all right now.."

"K-Kokichi.." Shuichi whispered, slowly approaching him.

The bluenette embraced him, cradling his head against his body carefully. Kokichi returned the hug hesitantly. As the elevator returned to the surface, the two stood in silence holding each other. The tenderness of the silence moved them both. Finally, the elevator stopped and opened into the night.

"Come to my dorm with me! I'll protect you..." the detective held the smaller boy's shoulders.

"Pro..tect me? Protect me from what..?"

"The intrusive thoughts.. I'll help you! We're going to get out of here, Ouma.. we'll do it together!"

"... I.. o-okay..."

He led Kokichi to the dorm rooms, escaping into his own and locking the door. He sighed gently and looked back at the purplenette, who was sitting on his bed.

"Hey.. why don't you uh.. take a shower.. to clear your head a little? I'll get you some pajamas to wear.." Shuichi's cheeks tinged a light pink against his pale complexion.

".. okay..."

Kokichi got up, leaving to the bathroom and shutting the door slowly. The detective sighed and went to his closet, picking out a nice warm pair of pajamas. He nodded to himself and closed his eyes as he walked into the bathroom while Kokichi was in his shower. He dropped off the pajamas and left, shutting the door. The bluenette sat in a chair and thought, the image of Kokichi's bleeding arm engraved into his mind. He connected the dots, how he wouldn't trust Shuichi that quickly to go to his room with him. Kokichi wanted to die...

Shuichi teared up and covered his face, heartbroken that someone like him was so broken. After some time, Kokichi left the bathroom wearing the pajamas. However with the wet hair, he looked exhausted too. He had been wearing makeup, and now it was washed off.

"Ah.. go back to the bathroom, we need to help those scars..." Shuichi stood up.

The pair went into the bathroom together, the taller sitting the other down and grabbing gauze and casting. He applied the gauze wrap around Kokichi's injured arms, as the other was just as damaged. Then used the casting to keep it in place. The purplenette smiled thoughtfully, wiping away little tears. When Shuichi was finished, he held the smaller boy to his chest, lifting him up and carrying him to bed. He laid him down, and tucked him in. Kokichi held the blanket with a smile.

"Please sleep next to me..." the leader begged, almost demanded.

"H-Huh..?" Shuichi blushed.

"Pwetty pwease..?~"

"Okay.." he smiled thoughtfully.

The bluenette crawled into bed, laying beside him under the covers. Shuichi stared into Kokichi's eyes lovingly, as he did the same to Shuichi. He grabbed the bluenette's hand, intertwining their fingers. The detective brought the leader closer, until their bodies were up against each other. He rested his forehead against Kokichi's, embracing them.

"I'm right here... darling, I'm right here..." he whispered into his ear.

"D.. Darling..." Kokichi repeated, his face flushing a gentle pastel cherry red color.

"Yes.. darling..." he whispered again.

"I love you."


	25. The Secret of the Outside World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is your sign to listen to Mitski

The gate slowly opened, and Kokichi felt the oxygen leaving his lungs. It was dark, the sky was red. He stared in disbelief, it couldn't be, could it?! The outside world was... gone. The purplenette covered his mouth as he began to lose consciousness. The buildings were destroyed, there were no stars or clouds, just a sea of red against the barren wasteland. His eyes were wide with terror, tears bubbling up and running down his pale cheeks. Kokichi stumbled over and pressed the button, and slowly the gate closed.

He collapsed on his knees, "n-no.. no no no... it's a lie, it has to be!! It h-has to be a lie!!!" He cried.

Kokichi gasped and wheezed on the floor, trying to catch his breath. He scratched at his throat as he sobbed and tried to breathe at the same time. Writhing on the floor, thoughts ran through his mind he couldn't comprehend. The purplenette coughed and sputtered, finally regaining his breath. In the moment, he wanted to lay there quietly starving himself after what he saw, after all, what was the point in living if there's nowhere to call home anymore?

"Have... to move... g-get up... get up...!" He murmured pitifully to himself.

The leader got to his feet shakily, coughing. He covered his ears as he developed a terrible headache and high pitched ring in the back of his head. Kokichi groaned, his body swaying side to side. Such a small boy like himself could never handle a sudden lack of oxygen like that, he whimpered and grabbed onto his hair.

He started to walk, slowly regaining his strength over time. His mind was hazy, he climbed up the ladder and shakily pulled himself out of the manhole. He started to shuffle through the darkness, as it was way past 10 pm. He hiccuped, going back to the dorms. Kokichi stared at each room, and for some reason he couldn't stop staring at Shuichi's dorm.

"Shu.. mai..." he said breathlessly, his legs wobbling as he shambled to the door.

He leaned against the door, catching his breath again. Kokichi rang the doorbell, standing up and dusting himself off. He put on a smile and dried his tears. His facade, his lie. The door opened and there stood Shuichi in his pjs, looking exhausted. He glared at Kokichi, irritated already and the purplenette hadn't even begun to speak.

"What do you want, Kokichi..."

"I'm here to kill you, Saihara-Chan!~"

"Tell the truth..."

"Mmm~ Nope!"

The detective turned to shut the door, but Kokichi stepped inside quickly. He gave Shuichi a look full of despair and heartache, hoping Shuichi would get the message without him having to tell the truth about his feelings. After a few minutes, the bluenette held his shoulder and led him inside. He shut the door, sitting the distressed leader down on his bed.

"Do you want to borrow some of my pajamas.." Shuichi murmured.

"Sure!~ why not~" Kokichi purred playfully, pain in his eyes.

"Okay..."

The bluenette tossed Kokichi some pajamas and pushed him into the bathroom. He assured him that he wouldn't lock the door, then shut it, laying back in bed trying his best to stay awake.

The door soon opened, Kokichi stepped out. The purplenette wore Shuichi's pajamas, though they were pretty big on his slim and malnourished figure. His eyes were full of tears. He sniffled and hiccuped. Shuichi stood up, suddenly even more worried. He approached him slowly, putting a hand on the smaller boy's shoulder. The bluenette led him to the bed and sat him down. He sat beside Kokichi, letting him cry into his shoulder.

"When you're ready to talk... I'll listen."

"You.. will..?" He whispered gently through tears, grabbing his sleeve.

"Yeah..."

Kokichi looked up at him, having trouble getting the words out, "I... uh..."

"Take your time, okay..?" Shuichi whispered.

"..."

The leader laid his head against Shuichi's shoulder, quiet. He didn't know what to say, whether he should lie or not. But then again, does it matter if he lies? There's no point to any of it anymore... he started to cry more and more, the bluenette patting his back gently.

"M-Manhole..." he whispered.

"Huh?" Shuichi looked down at him.

"I opened it.. the gate.... and I-I saw the outside world...." Kokichi's gaze was full of despair.

"R-Really..? What did you see?! Can we escape?!"

"No.. It's.. it's all gone..."

"... w-what...?"

"I couldn't breathe... n-not one bit... everything... all signs of life.. it's all gone."

The detective let go of Kokichi, staring in disbelief. He teared up and grabbed the purplenette, hugging him tight and crashing into the bed, Kokichi underneath him. Kokichi stared sadly and cried with him, hugging him back. Shuichi laid next to him after some time crying, covering his face.

"I wanna go home.. I-I.. I.." Shuichi sobbed.

"We have no home a-anymore..." the other boy cried.

"What do we do now...?"

"I don't... want to live anymore... there's no point to this facade or this body... I just.. don't want to be here anymore..." Kokichi whispered.

"K-Kokichi!" He jumped on top of the boy, grabbing his shoulders with blush tinging his cheeks, "we can't die.. not now! Not when there's still a chance!!" Shuichi cried.

"..."

"We can defeat Monokuma and live here in peace!! Right?! We can live... w-we can..."

"Y-You want to die too, don't you..." the leader murmured, "I can see it in your eyes that you don't have hope..."

"T-That's.." Shuichi couldn't argue, it was true. Kokichi really could see right through his own lies. Could he?

"Let's leave this place together... let's fly together.." Kokichi grabbed his hands.

"K-Kokichi!" The bluenette sat up and pulled his hands away, "I.. I don't want this..."

Kokichi stared at him for a while, before starting to ugly cry, covering his eyes and hiding his face in Shuichi's pillow.

"I-I lied...! I lied I lied I lied..! I-I just.. w-wanted to d-die with someone I-I like...! I don't.. wanna die alone..." he cried.

"K-Kokichi?!"

"I don't wanna live anymore!! I wanna die like everyone else in this place!!! It's not fair it's not fair it's not fair not fair not fair not fair!!!" He started to pull his own hair.

Shuichi grabbed his hands, "Kokichi stop..!! Please stop!" He cried. "You don't have to die... please don't die!! I can't lose anyone else!!"

The purplenette hiccuped, looking at their hands. He moved his own, their fingers interlocking. He blushed softly, as well as Shuichi. He leaned forward to lay against the detective's chest.

"... w-what are you doing.." Shuichi murmured, flustered.

"... listening to your heartbeat..." he whispered, "thud.. thud... thud... thud..." he smiled.

The bluenette smiled as well, "you're adorable..."

"I wanna stay with you..." Kokichi murmured.

"Huh?"

"I don't wanna stay in my dorm anymore.. too many bad memories..." he looked up at Shuichi, "but here.. we're making a good memory here..."

"Really..?" Shuichi blushed.

"Yeah... I just want to stay with you..."

Kokichi curled up in his lap, hugging Shuichi tight. Only then did Shuichi realize just how small the purplenette was, he looked way younger than he really was. The bluenette laid down, Kokichi sprawled out on top of him. Surprisingly the boy was already asleep, he must've been exhausted. Shuichi sighed and played with his hair, quickly falling asleep as well.


	26. Friends to Lovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shuichi internalized homophobia moment tm

Maybe it was his mind playing tricks, but Shuichi felt something was off. It was around 1 am, and he was in bed trying his best to sleep. However... sleep didn't come. He was unnerved, like he should be preparing for something bad.

The detective jumped suddenly as he heard his phone ring. The loud obnoxious ringtone invaded his skull, causing a migraine. He shuttered, grabbing his glasses and putting them on as he held his bright phone, desperate for the noise to stop. Then.. he saw Kokichi was calling him. Believing it was one of his tricks, he hung up and took his migraine medication, laying over to sleep once again.

However, once again, the purplenette called him. He groaned tiredly, covering his ears. However the noise persisted... so he turned again and put on his glasses, answering the call.

"S-Shuichi!! Finally!!" The purplenette whimpered on the other end.

"Hnn..? What are you talking about...? It's 1 in the morning..."

"I-I know... but I need you.. i-it's important!"

He sighed, "I can't just... Kokichi tell me what it is before I get up and drive there, probably risking my life..."

"Oh-! Oops... I'll just go to your place myself... okay? Your place is more comfy anyways..."

"Fine..."

The bluenette hung up and laid down, knowing Kokichi would just pick the lock and come inside himself. And soon enough that happened, the leader running into his bedroom.

"S-Shumai..!" He was teary eyed and shaking.

Shuichi sat up, "hn..? W-What's.. what's wrong?"

"N-Nothing I just missed you!!"

The detective groaned and laid back, opening his arms as the purplenette jumped into his arms. He was cold, and his hair was still fluffy and almost white. He said he'd dye it.. so... why didn't he? Kokichi kicked off his prosthetic legs and just held onto Shuichi.

"You gave me a migraine.." Shuichi mumbled.

"I'm sorry.. c-can I kiss it better..?"

"Sure.."

He leaned up and kissed Shuichi's forehead, "it wasn't all by the way... I came over cuz.. m-my old wounds are flaring up..."

"You too..?" Shuichi sat up.

"Yeah... though it's probs not as bad as yours."

He smiled, caressing his cheek, "you know.. you're cute when you lie..."

Kokichi smirked, "maybe I should do it all the time again like I used to..~"

"Really? Hit me with your best lie, then.."

"I hate you more than anything!" He said without skipping a beat.

The detective's cheeks warmed a subtle pink, if he means the opposite.. does that mean... he loves him? I mean, it makes sense since they'd become more intimate than regular friends. But love? Wasn't that just... wrong? Shuichi's parents always detested Kokichi since he introduced him to them. He always thought they saw something he didn't... but now he sees it... and he adores it.

"A-Are you... gay...?" Shuichi mumbled quietly, a worried expression in his eyes.

"Ah.. haha..." the leader avoided eye contact immediately, "y-yeah..." he let go swiftly, "sorry.. this makes things a lot more awkward."

"No-! No.. ah.. I-I am too... I'm just in the closet I guess.. since you know..."

"Your parents..?"

"Yeah..." Shuichi tucked a strand of his blue hair away from his face.

The leader laid back down next to him, pulling him into an embrace. He smiled thoughtfully, burying his face in Shuichi's chest. The detective held him back, humming softly to him.

"Shumai..."

"Yeah?"

"Can I stay here with you for a while..?"

"Huh..? Why..? Is there something.. going on at home..?" Shuichi said with concern.

"No.. I-I just want to be with you..." he smiled at him.

Of course, Shuichi obliged. Why wouldn't he? The happiness in the boy's eyes was too much to fathom. He held the boy oh so carefully as to not disturb past wounds... they were together and that was all that mattered.


	27. Pretty Purple Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> one eyed one horned flying purple people eater

"Alone... at the edge of a universe humming a tune... for merely dreaming we were snow..." he sang softly, his voice gentle and calm although his eyes spoke a thousand sorrows, "a siren sounds... like the goddess who promises endless apologies of paradise..." Shuichi paused, "and only she can make it right......"

The detective stopped, he felt like he was being watched. Looking towards the darkened hallway, he was right. Kokichi stood up and entered the light cast upon him from the crackling fireplace. He looked shocked, in awe at what he heard. Shuichi gave a welcoming smile.

Kokichi stepped towards him with a grin on his face. He rushed over and hugged the detective, the smell of coffee clinging to Shuichi's clothes.

"Did you like my singing?" He whispered, slightly embarrassed that Kokichi caught him.

"Yes my dear... nishishi~ you should do it more often..." he spoke slowly, truth spilling out as tiredness tugged at his childlike eyes like the kindest and gentlest of hands pulling a curtain closed.

"Ah.. you really should go back to bed..." Shuichi whispered thoughtfully in his ear.

"Really..? But I don't wanna! I'm so happy staying up and talking with you..." Kokichi pouted, it looked almost fake.

"C'mon dear..."

The bluenette scooped Kokichi up in his arms, unlocking the prosthetic legs from his body and ignoring them as they fell to the floor. The purplenette sighed, he couldn't run away anymore without his legs. He guessed he was trapped in his beloved's embrace. His lover was going to make him go to sleep... how disappointing.

Shuichi crawled into bed, laying the stubborn leader next to him. He leaned down, laying a gentle kiss on his forehead. The detective tucked them both in, trapped under the blankets together.

"S-Shumai please.. I don't wanna go to sleep..." he whispered, pushing the bluenette away.

"You have to.. please..?"

"No.. I'll get another nightmare..."

"Oh Koki dough... don't worry... I'll protect you, okay? I'll make sure you have a very good dream..."

"Okay.. Saihara-Chan..."

He finally rested, his beloved still awake beside him. Kokichi began to drift into unconsciousness, Shuichi brushing his hair with his delicate hand as he did. He felt peaceful, tranquil, like he was safe and sound in the arms of the one he trusts most. Shuichi hummed a little tune, laying right next to him. Was this peace? Laying beside his Shumai, buried deep in his arms under the blankets, buried in warmth and comfort. Whatever this feeling was, he didn't want it to end.

He suddenly awoke in a bed that wasn't his. It was cold, flat, and stained with blood. Kokichi felt his stomach turn, his face contorted in a look of discomfort. He turned and stood up off the cold bed with no blankets, and found he couldn't walk. Falling, he was falling. He yelped as he fell in a pool of blood that was on the cold damp floor. And found that it was a lake. A lake of crimson, blood all around him. Suddenly, he heard a voice.

"Can you hear me now..?" Shuichi whispered to him from somewhere.

"...mhm.." he responded, trying not to open his mouth.

"Listen to my voice... okay? Focus on me..."

Finally he found that he could breathe, the blood was gone and he lay on his back in a field full of daisies. Confused, Kokichi looked around. He was alone... where was the voice of his beloved coming from? He had to find out.

"I-I don't see you.. keep talking..." he spoke slowly yet he didn't know why.

"Okay... I remember your favorite flowers are orchids... purple ones, we picked some out one day at the store and you were elated to watch them grow... they're still in the window sill to this day..."

Suddenly the daisies in the field bloomed into purple orchids, making the purplenette smile. Carefully, he stepped around them towards the voice. He didn't want to crush the poor flowers.

"And one day you got so hyper you climbed a tree all by yourself.. it must've been hard since you hadn't gotten used to having prosthetics... but I was so proud and happy! And you were happy too... you lied of course and said you weren't scared... but I could see you didn't know how to get down... so I encouraged you to jump... and you did. You landed right into my arms and teased me the whole day about how I saved your life..."

"Mhm.. I-I remember..."

A tree appeared, the very same one he climbed. There was a tire swing tied to one of the branches, since he was tired he decided he'd sit down and swing for a while.

"I remember one day when you were so mad at Miu for bringing up something sensitive that you pulled an... elaborate... prank on her..." he chuckled as he spoke, "while I tried to stop you.. the prank was set off too soon and we were plucking feathers off of you for weeks..."

Kokichi giggled, "yeah... that was fun..."

"Do you still have glue on your arms..?"

"No, I picked it all off..." he swung on the tire swing happily.

"Okay... well... it's going to be okay..."

Those words echoed, and finally the leader saw someone in the distance in the field. He leapt off the swing and charged at the individual, smiling oh so happily. As he got closer the image became more clear, it was Shuichi. He turned to face Kokichi and opened his arms for him. Kokichi jumped into them, tackling the bluenette to the ground and nuzzling into his chest like a cat while he laughed. Petals flew up into the air when they hit the ground, sun beaming down at the two boys. They giggled, holding each other. Though it was only a dream, Kokichi promised he'd make the most of it.

"Goodnight my darling..." he whispered.


	28. 935

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW gay people oh my god worried emoji /j

After the game ended Shuichi fell into a coma. The previous victims of the game woke up just fine, but Shuichi was lost in a coma they feared he'd never wake up from. And every day since then Kokichi would write letters to the bluenette for when he'd wake.

On his last legs, the little leader held the pen in his hand to write another letter. He coughed, his writing shaky and uneven. But he still wrote, for it meant everything to him to have Shuichi read them. After he was done he had a nurse put it with the rest of the letters for Shuichi. Kokichi sniffled, fearing he'd never see the day Shuichi read them. He cried, laying down, he was in so much pain. The purplenette could barely take it, he'd asked multiple times for the nurse to pull his plug because he just couldn't take it anymore, but she refused.

Meanwhile in Shuichi's room, his hand moved. The doctor noticed and called in a nurse. And finally after 2 and a half years, Shuichi woke up. The bluenette was dazed, looking around in confusion. He shouted as rushes of pain and agony flourished throughout his body.

"Sir we're gonna need you to stay calm.."

"Aagggh!! God it hurts!!" Shuichi cried, gripping the blankets and squirming.

"Sir it's okay.."

"AAGGGHH!!!" He cried louder, in the worst pain of his life.

Two nurses held Shuichi down while a doctor injected a strange medicine into him. Slowly, he calmed down while they reattached the IV and had pain medicine go directly into his veins. The bluenette closed his eyes, crying gently. When the doctors left and he was alone, he caught sight of a box.

"Hm...?" He pondered what could be inside.

He opened it to find a lot of scrap pieces of paper. He winced, lifting the box up onto the bed. He skimmed over the box, confused. He picked up a piece of paper from the bottom and unfolded it.

Letter number 1  
Dearest Shumai, by now you've probably woken up and found my secret letters. I miss you, they told me you're in a coma. I hope you wake up soon. But I'll be writing letters to you until then. Okay?  
Sincerely, Kokichi

Shuichi frowned, gripping the letter tight. They're all from Kokichi? Just how long was he asleep? He picked up more letters, ordering them by date and counting them one by one. There were 935 letters... Kokichi wrote all of them?

Letter number 2  
Dearest Shumai, I still miss you.. I had surgery today and it really hurts. They had to replace almost everything and I feel that my body is not my own. I feel so sick.. I just want to hear your voice again.

Letter number 3  
Dearest Shumai, I had the worst nightmare ever. I feel so guilty for what I did... why did it have to happen? I'm so scared and my hands are so shaky...

Letter number 7  
Dearest Shumai, remember that day when we met. I felt something that day that I still don't understand. I felt warm... normally I'm cold. But when I met you I felt warm. Could you tell me what that means when you wake up?

Letter number 18  
I decided to stop with the formalities. You and I, we're.. still friends.. right? I hope so because I don't have anyone else. I wanna be your best friend, Shuichi. Your partner in crime.

Letter number 37  
I'm so sick... the doctors keep saying something's wrong with me. Something really really wrong. I feel like my guts are just going to burst out of my chest.. it hurts so bad and I miss you so much

Letter number 73  
Please wake up Shuichi.. I'm tired and I miss you. I don't think I'll make it... I'm going into surgery again today and I'm so scared.

Letter number 108  
They took away my legs and replaced more organs. When will it end? I'm so weak it took so much energy just to write these letters. But I'm not gonna stop because I really want you to wake up. Even though I know this won't do anything.. it makes me feel a little bit better.

Letter number 146  
I decided to hold a pillow and pretend it's you. Is that weird? It feels so weird but.. this pillow is so warm and I've felt safe holding this pretend you while I go to sleep. I haven't had a nightmare in a while so I think it's working

Letter number 156  
They ran out of my schizophrenia medicine. I keep seeing things.. like DICE.. and you and everyone else.. they taunt me. I thought DICE was my family.. but.. why do they taunt me, Shuichi? Why are they being so mean? I feel like I'm going to snap

Letter number 165  
DICE is treating me nicely again.. I just needed to talk to them. But the hallucinations are getting worse. I keep seeing monsters at night. They're in the hallways under my bed and outside my window. I'm going crazy... I'm going fucking crazy

Letter number 204  
They gave me medicine again. The hallucinations are gone for now.. and I'm starting to feel better. The doctors gave me new legs and a wheelchair. So I came to visit you.. it was nice seeing your face again. You looked so peaceful.. and I got to hold your hand. It was warm.

Letter number 226  
Merry Christmas Shuichi.. your presents are in your cabinet for you to open. I had to sneak mine in since I didn't think the others would let me give you a present... but I made it myself and I hope you like it.

Letter number 234  
I've visited you every day now while I write my letters. Today I saw your finger move, I thought you'd wake up but the nurse said you're still asleep. Everyone else is leaving the hospital today so it'll just be you and me from now on.

Letter number 300  
I'm having trouble breathing.. and I'm also having trouble with my feelings. I don't know what I'm feeling when I think of you. I've tried to connect the dots but it's so confusing. My head hurts

Letter number 378  
I almost died today. They accidentally pulled the plug on me, but I'm alright now. I'm just tired... really tired. Kaito and Maki are visiting you tomorrow so I can't come see you. I don't think they know I'm still alive... nishishi.. what a pretty lie.

Letter number 450  
I can't stop thinking about you.. I dream of you every night and I don't know why. This may be the only mystery I can't figure out.. haha.. well, that's a lie. I'm no detective. Maybe when you wake up we can figure it out together.

Letter number 637  
They're not letting me see you anymore.. the doctors say I'm too weak and I need rest. They have so many machines buzzing in my ears it's infuriating! I feel sick now that I can't see you. Is it withdrawal? Why am i addicted to something as silly as this...?

Letter number 669  
Do you remember when we played the knife game and I lost? I felt so happy when you fixed my hand. I kept the bandage on ever since then. Even when it was frayed and smelly.. I just didn't want to take it off.

Letter number 756  
I've been sick for 5 weeks... they've had to quarantine me and sanitize all my letters before they gave them to you. If you hadn't noticed. I'm so annoyed.. all these nobodies asking me if I'm alright. I wanna cause chaos on purpose just cuz I'm annoyed by them. But I'm so weak and tired I can't move much..

Letter number 812  
I think I'm dying... my stitches come loose every couple days and the bandages are so tight I can barely breathe. I need you.. I need your hugs and your sweet voice... I'm in so much pain and I don't know why but I think you're the only cure

Letter number 866  
I'm so close to figuring out this feeling... I dream of being in your arms. I long for your lips against mine.. it's so confusing, I've never felt this way about anyone let alone another boy. It feels wrong but.. at the same time it feels right. I feel like I should stay with you for a while.

Letter number 906  
I got to walk around the hospital with a nurse again just to get used to my new prosthetics. But I collapsed during the walk, now I have doctors in and out almost all the time. I appreciate the attention but... I wish you'd just wake up.

Letter number 918  
I'm having a nurse deliver my letters now. It's fun and it feels secretive... lately I've been falling asleep and waking up days later. But I've made up for it by writing multiple letters a day.

Letter number 919  
I pranked my nurse today! She was so embarrassed and scolded me.. but it was fun. I wish you were here and awake though.

Letter number 922  
Every second without you is a waking nightmare that I fear I'll never wake up from. Why won't you wake up? My heart hurts so much so why won't you wake up? Please

Letter number 935  
I love you. I finally figured it out. I'm on my deathbed now.. and I've figured out my feelings for you. I love you, Shuichi Saihara. I love you my detective, my Prince Charming. You're everything to me, my dear. And I love you more than anything. It hurts to write any more.. so maybe one day I'll see you in the afterlife my dearest.

Shuichi gasped, he had sobbed throughout the whole thing. The words were blurry, tears falling onto the paper and soaking the freshly written letters. He looked around the room and found there was no wheelchair. The bluenette huffed sadly and got out of bed, gripping the IV stand and shuffling weakly out of the room.

"K-Kokichi hold on.. I'll be there soon..." he whispered softly.

"Sir what are you doing? You're supposed to be in bed.." a nurse grabbed his shoulders, guiding him back to his room.

"I-I have to see Kokichi Ouma! He needs me you don't understand..." he cried, desperate.

"Why? Is he hurt?"

"He's dying and he needs me! Please!" The detective shoved the nurse.

"Sir! Hey.. hey!" She grabbed him again, "here, I'll take you there okay?"

"Please do!"

The nurse led Shuichi down the hall carefully, letting him into one of the rooms where a doctor was injecting Kokichi with medicine. The bluenette sobbed harder, rushing over and sitting in a chair beside him. He grabbed Kokichi's hand though he was unconscious, and cried into his blanket. The nurse took the time to help the doctor.

Once the two were alone, Shuichi collected the smaller boy in his arms and cuddled him. The detective ran his hand through his hair lovingly, tenderly. He held him like it was the end of the world.

"I'm here now..." he hiccuped, "I read all of your letters, Kokichi...!!" He felt a sharp pain and grunted, holding him closer and tighter.

The purplenette coughed, "you.. did...? You read every one..?"

He gasped and looked him in the eyes, "Kokichi!"

Kokichi smiled, "hey..."

"Oh.. I love you too!!" He held him close again, leaving the smaller boy weeping gently into his shoulder.

"I feel so much better..! I'm so sorry for everything I said and did..." Kokichi whined.

"Shut up... just shut up Kokichi!" He cried, staring him down in the eyes, "it's over now.. it's okay..! We're together now and that's what matters!! I.. I'll never leave you alone again... I'll always be here for you..."

He rested his lips tenderly against Kokichi's. The purplenette was surprised, but immediately gave into his touch. It felt like heaven, like it was too good to be true. The leader felt blissful, finally peaceful after so long. No crystal or some diamond ring or a luxury mansion could ever amount to the happiness he felt right then with his Shumai.

Once the kiss ended, Kokichi laid peacefully against Shuichi's chest. The bluenette ran his fingers through his hair while he fell asleep. All was well now... it was quiet, and the sun was setting, time to go to bed.

Soon after a year of treatment they could go home. They now had an apartment in the city together, living peacefully.

Kokichi was putting up a pride flag over their bed, focusing hard so he wouldn't mess up. The detective came up behind him and held his waist, burying his face in the boy's neck to give him little kisses. The purplenette stopped and smiled at him, flustered.

"Stop that you goofball.. I'm gonna mess up!"

"Can't help it.. you look cute as heck!" Shuichi leaned over to kiss his cheek.

"Hmmmm~ you won't be smiling and kissing me like that when I kill you!" He pushed Shuichi onto the bed and jumped on top of him, tickling the bluenette mercilessly.

"AH!! H-H-Hey!! S-Stop it!" He laughed in between words, pushing the leader's hands away the best he could as he squirmed underneath him.

"No! Not until you reveal to me the hidden gem, detective!!" He sneered.

"F-Fine fine!!" Shuichi tossed a pillow aside and pulled out a bag of candy, giving it to Kokichi.

"Hoorah! Thankies~" he put the candy back.

"Huh..?" Shuichi tried to catch his breath after Kokichi had stopped.

"I stole your heart, Shumai.." he stood up, "that's all I wanted!~"

The bluenette blushed, feeling in his front pocket and confirming... it... was still in there. While Kokichi finished up unpacking, he slipped away and began to work. He cooked Kokichi's favorite foods and set it up in the living room, lighting a few candles and turning off the lights.

"Shumaaaiii! I'm done unpacking——" he stopped and stared at everything, "d'awwweee did the charming detective do this for lil ol' me?" He teased.

"Ah.. yeah, I did.. c'mon, let's sit down and eat... I have your favorite movie!" He held up the remote.

"Ahm.." Kokichi sat on the couch beside Shuichi, confused, "I don't get it... why all this for me?"

"Because I love you, of course.." Shuichi kissed him and started the movie.

Throughout the whole movie, the leader was suspicious. He grew anxious at what his lover was planning... he hadn't touched his food much because of that. Shuichi noticed and frowned, he feared Kokichi would do this. So he paused the movie and turned towards him.

"Kokichi..." he smiled.

"What are you planning?" He frowned wearily.

"Ah.. do you know what day it is?"

"Yeah..?"

"It's the anniversary of your 935th letter.. the day I woke up..." he reached into his pocket.

Kokichi's cheeks flushed red, "ah.. soooo this is a gift..?" He smiled.

"Yeah.. even better." Shuichi knelt down on the floor, nervous beyond all belief, but... confident. He pulled out a little box and opened it to reveal a small ring with an amethyst carved into the shape of a rose, "will you marry me, Kokichi Ouma?"

Kokichi felt a flurry of emotions inside he couldn't quite grasp. He and Shuichi had only been together for a year so why was he proposing?! He was so flustered he wanted to hide under the blankets cuddling his stuffed rabbit. But he had to answer his question! So he took a deep breath, stood his ground, and looked Shuichi in the eyes with a thoughtful smile.

"Yes..."


	29. Oh Blue Haired Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shuichi has a ghost boyf now <3

It was cold, far too cold. And dark. Where was he? Was he dead? That much was true. As the press had come down and all that was left of his body was blood. Kokichi stared emptily at the thing he once called a body. Then turned away, shuffling towards the exit. Everything was destroyed, he only hoped that his note to his beloved was still intact.

He was wrong.

The dorms were sunken in and destroyed, so the apparition entered what used to be his room. Debris was everywhere, papers ripped and destroyed. Items lost in the rubble. He let his eyes rest down on a black hat that was torn and crushed under a part of the roof. He tried to lean down and grab it, but his ghostly hand fazed right through it.

The leader began to cry, looking around for anything that was still intact. But he found nothing. So he left, since he was in limbo, he might as well find his beloved. He figured he hadn't read the note. That would explain why he was here instead of.. in Hell..

Kokichi began to wade through the world brought to ruin, when finally he realized Shuichi wasn't in the dome. There was a hole in the End Wall, and... the sky was blue... what? He thought to himself, the outside world was gone! Right...? He left the destroyed dome, to see that overgrowth had appeared everywhere. This place really was frozen in time.

"Shuichi...?" He called out, wandering.

The ghostly purplenette seemed drawn in this one direction. He looked around as it led to a city. People crowded the streets, rushing to work or heading to school. He sighed, reminiscing the good days he had in school before he was kidnapped. Kokichi finally stopped and saw something through a window, wading through, he found Shuichi.

The bluenette looked older, most likely a young adult. He was at a computer typing something. The leader felt himself begin to cry as he came closer, little tears falling to the floor and seeping into the carpet as ectoplasm. He stared at Shuichi, he looked exhausted and focused on his work. He also looked tense. So Kokichi floated over and sat in his lap, curling up there. He closed his eyes, hearing the boy's heartbeat.

"Hmph.." Shuichi sat back, looking confused.

Kokichi simply sat there, he was so tired and in so much emotional pain. He just wanted to stay with Shuichi. However the detective stood up, leaving him falling through the floor. The ghostly boy quickly rose back up to Shuichi's floor and found him getting coffee in his kitchen. He whimpered, approaching and latching himself to Shuichi's back. The bluenette squirmed uncomfortably at the sudden sensation, scratching his back. The purplenette closed his eyes again to rest against him.

"What's.. going on..?" Shuichi mumbled tiredly, "m-maybe I've been working too much.."

"Shumai..." he whispered lowly, yawning.

"Huh?!!"

The bluenette looked around frantically, he could've sworn he heard something. He shook his head, blaming it on his lack of sleep and putting the coffee away so he could rest. Shuichi laid in bed, shutting the curtains and closing his eyes in the dark. Kokichi had rolled onto the other side of the bed, cuddling the detective.

"Nggh..." Shuichi opened his eyes, unsure of what to do about this chill that clung to him.

"Mm.. hm..." Kokichi tried to get closer, feeling the warmth of his body.

"W-What.. is something here...?" He whispered into the air, nervous.

"Yes..." Kokichi remained by his side.

Shuichi flinched, "w-what the-?!! I-Is— are you... what are you..?"

"...." he looked up at him, he honestly didn't want to make conversation right then. He wanted to stay with him and rest, he was so so tired.

"... I'm going fucking crazy..."

"Mm.. you don't even recognize my voice...?" His voice was weak and quiet, a little raspy.

"Y-Your.. voice... am I supposed to know you?"

"... I don't really want to talk today... I just want to stay here with you..."

Shuichi frowned, "b-but you're cold-!! Go somewhere else.. I don't know what you are but I don't want you to make me cold and uncomfortable!"

"Mm..." he didn't move, he couldn't, he was just that exhausted.

"..." he frowned, "fine..." he mumbled.

Shuichi let the ghostly boy lay next to him, exhausted, he fell asleep. Kokichi was happy to be next to him again, nuzzling his warm body with his cheek.

The next morning the bluenette was tired and uncomfortable with Kokichi clinging to him. This chill attached to his body wouldn't go away.

"Will you tell me what you are now...?" He groaned, sipping coffee.

"I'm dead..." Kokichi responded.

"D-Dead..?" He shivered, "you're a ghost..?"

"Mmhm.."

"What's your name..?"

"..." he sniffled, "Kokichi.. it's me, Kokichi Ouma..."

Shuichi choked on his coffee, looking around, "KOKICHI??!"

"Mm.." he closed his eyes again.

"Kokichi I'm— h-how are you here?! I have so much to say to you.. why did you-?! You.. I... I don't even know where to begin..." he cried, "I want to see you.. please let me see you..."

The purplenette sighed and soon his image flickered in and out of existence. Then finally, he could be seen, the short boy that Shuichi used to know. Shuichi stared at the weak looking ghost boy, the wounds on him pulsed and bled still. The detective teared up. Kokichi was holding onto him, sitting in his lap again. Never had Shuichi imagined he'd see a full bodied apparition ever in his life.

"K-Kokichi..." he whispered, "why haven't you passed on..?"

"I want to stay with you... I don't want to pass on..."

"K-Kokichi you have to!"

"No.. I want to stay right here..."

"... Kokichi.." Shuichi tried to pet his hair, but all he felt was coldness.

"I'm so sleepy... I want to stay here..."

"Kokichi I..." he sighed, "I'm sorry for not trying to figure you out... sooner... I-I... I just hope you can forgive me..."

"Mmnm..." Kokichi only leaned closer, his eyelids begging to close. "Your body is so warm..."

"..."

He sighed, standing up and leaving for work with Kokichi clinging to his back. He slept the whole day, just laying on Shuichi. He got questions all day about why he looked awful. But Shuichi shrugged it off and went home, his companion only then waking up.

"We're home...?" He murmured.

"Ah.. sure.. how long are you gonna hold onto me like this?"

"Does it bother you...?" Kokichi whispered tiredly.

"A little..." he sighed, "could you get off of me..? Just for a little..."

"..."

He suddenly disappeared and the chill Shuichi felt all day faded. The detective sighed softly, hopping onto his computer to work more. The purplenette drifted to the detective and warped into the computer. Suddenly the mouse moved on its own, and Shuichi gasped.

"H-Hey!! Kokichi-!! Get out of my computer!"

A new document was created and words appeared on the screen. Kokichi was writing Shuichi a letter...? He watched each word write itself, emotion in each one. It read:

'Shumai I missed you so much, I was so alone and afraid when I died and I just want to be with you forever. Please just let me stay, I can't move on, I just can't! I'll be lost without you, I tried to be strong, I really did... but I was just too weak after what I did... I'm so pathetic!!' 

"K-Kokichi no.. you're not pathetic.." he was taken aback by how much he said considering he was pretty much silent before, "you.. you're a hero. Well, an anti-hero... but a hero nonetheless... you helped us so much after you died! We found the mastermind and ended the killing game and all future ones..." he smiled.

The purplenette appeared out of the computer, tearing up as he tiredly laid in Shuichi's lap. He sighed, smiling at Kokichi. He simply laid there, some warmth replacing the coldness Shuichi felt before when Kokichi was clinging to him. The purplenette cuddled up to him, humming quietly.

Maybe being a ghost wasn't so bad...


End file.
